A Bookstore Called “Bookstore”

And what I found there.

Recently I visited a mini mall where I found a bookstore seemingly christened “Bookstore.”

Okay, yes, this Ocala mini-mall book shop does appear to have a name besides BOOKSTORE. But a banner in a window just doesn’t count in my (wait for it…) book, especially when presented with the supporting evidence of…

See, “BOOKSTORE.” Yes, I know some of the other businesses being advertised have similarly simplified names, but you’re being a real spoilsport. Do you want to see what’s inside BOOKSTORE or not? That’s what I thought.

Fat Cat Spreads Out is the very first book I saw when I entered the store. This book is part of a SERIES. If you or someone you know has ever read one of these books, please tell me about the book and, more importantly, about you. How old are you? How many cats do you own? Do you overfeed them and then ask them to help you solve mysteries? How come you didn’t come up with this series first then? Are you considering suing? Will your cats be named as co-plaintiffs? Will you share the money with them? But, no, really, will you? The cats will know if you’re keeping something from them. Remember how good they are at solving mysteries.

I do not know why there was an elastic band around this book. Maybe it was like one of those Kardashian shape training corsets to sort of smush all the cat lipids in?

Cost: $4.

“A contemporary romance with military elements set in Ocala, Florida’s horse country.” Will the horse tear them apart? Will the horse bring them together? Find out in Forever in Ocala.

Price tag: $13.99.

Bad Boys Do what? It would have been so much better if Janet Dailey’s Everything had been placed right beneath it, but as I am a journalist of the highest principles, I vowed to move NOTHING.

Now Santa in a Stetson makes me angry. Santa is not a cowboy. He’s a reindeer-boy. Get it together, romance writers.

Bad Boys Do: $4.

Santa in a Stetson: $3.50.

Boldly, strangely enough, had an extremely faded, almost invisible price tag of $7.48. Amazon, meanwhile, is selling it for $0.01 in both paperback and hardcover. Sadly, no Kindle edition is currently available, though you can get the co-authors’ other books, The Trek Factor: Powerful Life Lessons from Star Trek and Boldly Live!: Empowerment Lessons from Star Trek, ONLY on Kindle.

In case you were wondering and have used up all your Google credits for the day: Hiyaguha Cohen has a PhD in Human Development and Professional Coaching from the International University of Professional Studies, which are apparently things, and she has completed nine marathons. Move over, Tina Fey; I have a new role model.

They also sold audio books with deceptively porn-esque titles. Fourth Comings: $16.95 and a sigh of disappointment.

Utah!: $1.98.

Tennessee!: $2.25.

Nevada!: $1.75.

Idaho!: $1.98.

Second Nevada!: $3.25.

I’m assuming the bottom Nevada! was, like, about Las Vegas and Area 51 and the top Nevada! was about Carson City or Reno or something.

These were just laying out on a table. Guess which cost more! GUESS! You know, because this is a comedic post, which one it has to be, right? That son of a bitch Jesse James. First Sandra Bullock, now Jack Welch. I can’t even.

Jack: $6.95.

I Am Jesse James: $8.95.

The perfect gift set for the woman in your life.

I’m Not in the Mood: $1.95.

Cities of the Red Night: $6.95.

IS THIS FAT CAT? The resemblance is uncanny, right?

Price: Free, presumably, with purchase of all the newspapers.

Enjoy more of Kati Stevens here, here, here, and, I know, I know, this is madness, here.

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.