Spring Shopping

So after spending our most recent warm spring weekend going through my closet and thinking “I hate 30 percent of my clothes,” I decided it was time for some spring shopping.

(I know it isn’t really spring yet. Indulge me.)

First, I researched new trends in fashion:

Looking at new spring wardrobe options, what is INNERWEAR, what is the SKINNY SWEATPANT, why is this so awful

 — @hellothefuture

WHAT the what is a "BOYFRIEND SHIRT," isn't that just a man's shirt and those boxy necklines are pretty unflattering

 — @hellothefuture

Okay, apparently the Boyfriend Shirt has a dropped shoulder but a slim waist because fashion is nonsense

 — @hellothefuture

Also, "innerwear" is Spanx, it is just off-brand Spanx

 — @hellothefuture

After my spurt of aggrieved tweets, the actual shopping took me about 15 minutes at Old Navy Dot Com, cost $118.38, and got me seven new items, which might actually come out to 30 percent of my spring wardrobe. Three dresses, one pair of sweatpant capris, one sweatpant skirt, and two T-shirts. (Apparently I either go big or go home, in terms of the clothes I put on my body.)

The hilarious thing is that nearly every item on the list replaces or upgrades an item I already own and like:

— A new gray-striped linen dress to replace an old H&M gray-striped seersucker dress that is currently gapping at the placket (that’s one thing they don’t tell you about hitting your 30s — even if your weight doesn’t change much, everything you own will start to gap at the placket)

— A drawstring “sweatpant material” skirt to replace the nearly identical skirt that I spilled coffee on last year

— More plain gray and charcoal V-neck T-shirts, because, seriously, might as well stick with what works

— A blue and green dress with a high waist and bell sleeves that is ridiculously like another dress I already own, but that one’s blue and orange (or is it white and gold?)

I keep thinking that someday I will completely change my sense of style, possibly to a newer and better sense of style, and the truth is that I’ve barely changed my sense of style since I was two years old and told my mother that I was going to wear dresses every single day.

And, when I get home, sweatpant capris with a V-neck charcoal T-shirt.

What about you? Was your sense of style equally hardcoded in the womb? Am I going to be happiest in a slightly high-waisted dress with a loose skirt for the rest of my natural life?

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