A Series of Weird Impulse Buys, Ranked on a Scale of 0-10
Goodr Running Sunglasses
I was buying running socks and they were there? If you run in the summer, sun is a thing you have to think about? They are cheap and cute and actually stay on my sweaty runner’s face.
0/10. No regrets!
Hello Kitty Golf Balls
I bought this as a gag gift for my stepfather, but I chickened out giving it to him. They’ve been hanging around my apartment ever since. Sometimes gag gifts seem mean, but then I remember that he gave me a framed photo of Putin one Christmas (pre-2016 election).
Odds that he’ll find this under the Christmas tree: 2/10
All the times I went to Lush to find a new hair/skin/bar product
There are too many of these and anyway they give you returns on any product you don’t like (but then again, you can’t really return a bubble bar).
Sweet-smelling regrets: 3/10
Chinese takeout when I have food in the house
On the one hand, I always want Chinese food. On the other hand, it is one of the more expensive fast food options.
Tasty comfort food slightly outweighs the upcharge for lo mein substituting fried rice on the combo platter: 5/10
The Sam Edelman ballet flats at Nordstrom Rack that seemed like a good deal at the time
They were, what, $80? And the leather feels so soft (although, then again, so are the soles). In the store, they seemed like a great investment piece. The kind of practical shoe (ballet flats!) combined with the bright color (turquoise!) that would really work as a daily shoe at work. They say fun and cute and they also say ouch ouch ouch because my heel still has a blister that won’t go away. And while $80 for a pair of everyday shoes seems like a good idea, I’m not quite getting the wear out of them that I was expecting for that price.
My blister has regrets: 6/10
Stopping at Panera after a Whole Foods run
I wanted food, so I went to Whole Foods. But I also wanted soup and there wasn’t soup at Whole Foods that sounded good, so I grabbed a croissant (to dip into the soup) and a drink before going to Panera. But en route to Panera, there was a Chick-fil-A and that also seemed like a sensible stop. And then I got to Panera for the long-sought after soup. Guess what? I had forgotten that they give you bread for free.
Redundant food regrets: 8/10
Any item from H&M that looks good in the store’s dressing rooms
This is a lie, you will hate it once it gets washed and it will inevitably be too short on you.
Regrets: 10/10, I hate you, H&M
Allison Kupatt is a native North Carolinian, museum employee, and movie lover. She tweets about all this plus cats @mundaneguts.
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