A Friday Chat on Oprah’s Favorite Things

Also, Neiman Marcus sells frozen food now.

MEGAN: How. Who is buying $66 collard greens?

NICOLE: I wouldn’t buy frozen food from a high-end clothing store. That’s like mixing their brands.

MEGAN: They also sell a $65 broccoli cheese casserole.

NICOLE: That’s so weird.

MEGAN: They sell so much food!

NICOLE: Are frozen “budget dinners” a thing now? Expensive budget dinners?

MEGAN: Hmmmm. Maybe? Rich people are weird. Although i just did the math on this brisket dinner, and it actually works out okay:

Complete Brisket Dinner

NICOLE: What is that brisket thing, is Neiman Marcus trying to be KFC?

MEGAN: Hahahhaha I have no idea. But if you do the math, it’s like $29 a head, which is how much i have paid for bbq at bougie places here in Brooklyn.

NICOLE: Comes with “Oma’s cheesy potatoes.” I guess “Grandma” doesn’t have the right ring to it.

MEGAN: Their Thanksgiving dinner is also actually kinda reasonable. I’m shocked.

Exclusive Complete Holiday Turkey Dinner, For 8 people

I forgot about how wonderfully horrid Neiman Marcus’s holiday gift guide is.

NICOLE: There’s also Oprah’s Favorite Things:

Oprah's Poinsettia Flower Pot Cake

MEGAN: OH SHIT. I love Oprah’s Favorite Things!

NICOLE: What is with all of this bougie food, though. I was making flower pot cakes in Girl Scouts, you need instant pudding and Oreos. What’s the right term for this stuff: gentrified comfort food?

MEGAN: I think the rise of, like, haute Southern cuisine.

NICOLE: Yeah. Who’s the target demo, though? Is this for young people who have $$$ and remember their parents putting together Hamburger Helper, or is it for older people who have $$$?

MEGAN: The target demo is like, people who grew up eating it but now have $ and wanna flex a little and CAN so they do.

NICOLE: Also, I want many of Oprah’s Favorite Things.

MEGAN: I want almost all of them. A lot of her stuff isn’t that $$ though, like this dumb pasta pot that I would actually be very pleased with:

Bialetti 7265 Trends Collection 5 Quart Pasta Pot, Charcoal

NICOLE: I love that her gloves come with three gloves in case you lose one.

Verloop Trio Touchscreen Gloves

MEGAN: That is brilliant, honestly.

NICOLE: I am also digging those “collected works” book sets with the mural on the spines.

Toni Morrison Book Set

NICOLE: OMG DO YOU SEE that she is selling a lipstick you can also use as a cheek stain.

Edward Bess Big Kiss

MEGAN: !!

NICOLE: Which a lot of us have already been doing for years. It’s another one of those “haute frugal things.”

MEGAN: Oprah, my dude, you crack me up. What is her life even?

NICOLE: Well, she wears red striped pajamas to announce her Christmas haul, so that.

MEGAN: Hahahahahha.

NICOLE: Sorry, holiday haul, but with the poinsettias and the red stripes we know what holiday it is.

MEGAN: Her life is actually pretty fantastic, from what I can tell. Like, she fucks around in a garden, Stedman’s there, she wears glasses.

NICOLE: Yes!

MEGAN: She has great skin. Like, she’s got it. Whew, I forgot that I get worked up about Oprah.

NICOLE: I will now go look for cheaper versions of all this stuff.


Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.

Comments