The Case of the Missing Package
by Mike Dang and Meaghan OConnell
Mike: So I ordered a vacuum on Amazon the other day. It was delivered last night, but when I got home, it wasn’t there. Someone stole the package.
Mike: So I emailed them.
Mike: Yes. And I got a reply from someone using a form message.
Meaghan: They are going to send you another one right? I feel like they’re surprisingly good about that.
Mike: Yes, they were like, “okay, sorry that happened, we’re going to overnight another one to you.”
Mike: It’s crazy. I’m wondering if it’ll get stolen again. Like, someone sees a big package and thinks there’s something worth stealing in it.
Meaghan: Yeah what can you do?
Mike: I could stay home and work, which I don’t want to do, but I’ll do it if it means not having my vacuum stolen again.
Meaghan: Maybe you can have things shipped to the office.
Mike: Yeah, true. Though I would have to lug it home.
Meaghan: Oh yeah, ugh.
Mike: When I realized someone stole it, I started laughing. Have fun with my vacuum! This was at 11 last night.
Meaghan: So shameless!
Mike: Serves me right for staying at the office so late.
Meaghan: Hard work karma! You should leave a passive aggressive note in your building. Ha, I mean NO but…
Mike: Also, here’s another thing: I think I saw the new neighbor who lives upstairs steal a package.
Mike: Maybe it belonged to her. There was another package from Amazon left downstairs and I saw her circle it for a little bit through my door guest viewer thing.
Mike: She picked up the box and shook it. And put it down. And then picked it up again. And then walked upstairs with it.
Mike: I mean, I don’t know. I don’t want to accuse her of anything.
Mike: Like, what could I do.
Meaghan: Maybe her whole apartment is full of other people’s boxes.
Mike: Can you imagine?
Mike: I am just waiting for her to put out all that cardboard.
Meaghan: Would she strip off the packing label?
Mike: I hope not! I would love for this mystery to be solved. I would also love to have my vacuum.
Photo: Carl Malamud