Credit Card FAQ Copywriter Is a Mad Genius

So kind, so soothing, so helpful. B of A’s FAQ section about financial hardship — read, I can’t make payments on the astronomical credit card balances I ran up myself, sure, but you gave me a $10K limit when I was 20 and didn’t have a job, so let’s share some culpability here — is so reassuring. That bank really does care about me. I know it now.

“If you are in financial difficulty, it is in all our interests to get it resolved. Contact us to explore your options.”

Our interests. All our interests. Us. Together.

“If you have simply overlooked a payment you can make one now.”

Simply.

“For future peace of mind and to avoid late fees, set up a Direct Debit on your account to pay the minimum payment due. Simply access Online Banking.”

Can’t wait for peace of mind. Simply.

“You can avoid late fees by setting up a Direct Debit which you can do through Online Banking. Please make sure you have sufficient funds in your nominated bank account or you may incur a fee.”

BRB making sure I have sufficient funds, would not want to offend.

“Imagine being debt-free. If your debts were paid off, you could have more money available to save for retirement, emergencies or vacation. Most importantly, you could stop worrying about how to make ends meet and enjoy more peace of mind.”

“A budget is simply a sum of money needed or available for a particular purpose. If you’ve never used a budget to manage your financial needs, now is the time to start.”

Oh okay.

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