Make Xmas Songs Relevant Even If Your Life Is Devoid of Love and Happiness

We all want someone to love, to long for, to swoon for, especially around the holidays. But what I’m here to to tell you is, WE ALL HAVE THAT LOVE, ACTUALLY. And it is: A giant sack of money. Love songs are for all of us. At least, they’re for me.

Merry Christmas Darling
Merry Christmas Darling
We’re apart, that’s true
but I can dream and in my dreams
I’m Christmasing with you

(Darling is sack of money)

— –

All I Want for Christmas Is You

All I want for Christmas is you, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby
All I want for Christmas is you, baby

(Baby is a sack of money)

— –

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (original lyric)
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
It may be your last

(Sing this to your debt)

— –

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (official lyric)

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight

(Sing after receiving a sack of money only)

— –

Santa Baby

Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree for me;
Been an awful good girl, Santa baby
and hurry down the chimney tonight

(This is the only Christmas song that honors my love)


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