How to Procrastinate Signing Up for a Gym Membership While Still Being Productive About It

by Liz Jordan

October: Don’t sign up for a membership or start running in your neighborhood. Instead, buy sports bra and yoga pants.

Mid-October: Don’t sign up for a membership or start running in your neighborhood. Instead, ask your new employer’s HR department about the gym in the building.

Late October: Don’t sign up for a membership or start running in your neighborhood. Instead, “research” the gym by peering in the door window on your way out of the building every day.

November: Don’t sign up for a membership or start running in your neighborhood. Instead, research fitness apps.

Mid-November: Don’t sign up for a membership or start running in your neighborhood. Instead, tell your friends you’re thinking about running. Turn down a 5K invitation, but assure them you’ll run next year’s Santa Run.

Late November: Don’t sign up for a membership or start running in your neighborhood. Instead, add “gym membership” to your monthly budget.

December: Don’t sign up for a membership or start running in your neighborhood. Instead, take gym membership applications from your employer’s gym. Tour the gym. Say you’ll be back in January.

Mid-December: Split your jeans down the ass on Casual Friday. Sign up for the gym.

Liz lives in Boston, and sometimes updates her tumblr.

Photo: Health Guage

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