The One Month Break-up Balance Sheet

by George Holt

+ 0.80p Going home at 1:30 p.m. (off peak) rather than 5:30 p.m. (peak) after break-up text occurred at 1 p.m. and I couldn’t work because I was crying at my desk

+ £ 1 Galaxy bar bought for me by guilty ex when he returned home to retrieve his belongings

+ c.£20 Food I didn’t eat for in week one, half because I felt sick, half because I felt stoical

+ c.£30 The cost of food in weeks two, three, and four where I ate cheese on toast or soup for dinner rather than meat and two veg meals

– £17.83 Two self-help (one break up, one quarter-life crisis) books in the hope that someone telling me I will feel better will make me feel better

– £3 Fancy notebook so when I’m splurging all my feelings they feel more dignified written on thick paper

– £45 Shoes I had bookmarked for a while, couldn’t justify, then could justify

– £30 Six bottles of wine to make me feel better

+ £20 Four bottles of wine brought by friends to make me feel better

+ £40 New duvet cover and cushions bought for me by my mother so I couldn’t smell his smell at night and make my bed look like mine not ours

– £30 New foundation to cover bad skin as a result of no sleep, weird diet and stress

– £80 Tickets to the ballet and a bread-baking course so I have things to look forward to in the next few months

BALANCE: -£94.03

George Holt lives in London; is a woman.

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