An $18 Cup of Coffee

This feels excessive.

Photo: Travis Wise

Deep in the bowels of Brooklyn, there is a place where you can get an $18 cup of coffee if you so desire. Regardless of where you stand on the coffee culture wars, I think it’s safe to say that this is…too much money to pay for a cup of coffee.

Where To Get The Finest $18 Cup Of Coffee In Brooklyn

The $18 cup of coffee is thanks to Alpha Dominche, a Utah-based manufacturer of a very expensive coffee machine called the Steampunk which is controlled by an iPad and looks very complicated to operate. The benefit of brewing a cup of coffee using this machine is its precision, I guess. The temperature is correct, the water amount is correct, you can filter it four different ways, I don’t know. It’s a lot of work for a cup of coffee. And it’s $18, which is too much for coffee. I’m sorry. It just is.

Once, a friend and I went out to brunch at one of those places that seem to pop up like weeds in certain parts of Brooklyn — farm tables, white walls, poured concrete floors, a single wildflower in a bud vase on every table. He ordered something called the “Cup of Excellence,” which appeared to be nothing more than a cup of coffee, sourced from special beans, I guess? It cost $9 and was just ridiculous enough to order.

The coffee arrived in its own French press, but with no clear indication of how long it’d been sitting there. Assuming that the helpful staff had brought the Cup of Excellence to our table at its peak, he plunged. It wasn’t ready. A timer, by the way, would’ve helped. Maybe a little hourglass. Something. Anything, really, to indicate that the excellence was ready to be poured.

Maybe an $18 cup of coffee would taste twice as good as the $9 cup of coffee my friend bought and inadvertently ruined due to poor packaging and lack of clear instructions. Or maybe it wouldn’t. I drink Bustelo brewed at twice the normal strength because I firmly believe coffee should hit you between the eyes from the first sip. I’m not the audience here. But who is?

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.