I Am Not Young Anymore
Think of all the money I’ll save now that I’m out of the 18–34 marketing demographic!
I turned thirty-five today, which means that I have finally aged out of the 18–34 marketing demographic.
You have no idea how happy this makes me.
Think of all the stuff I will now be able to blissfully ignore, since it will no longer be marketed directly towards me! All of those blockbuster films, hit new television series, fashion trends, apps, games… not for me. (A lot of that stuff wasn’t really for me to begin with, since it was technically designed for men aged 18–34, but you don’t need me to explain why young women get stuck with media in which they are the object, not the subject.)
It’s not like I can’t enjoy Skinnier Jeans or whenever La Croix inevitably introduces sparkling malt liquor beverages, but from here on out I get to choose whether I participate in 18–34 demo culture, with the full understanding that when I do, the 18–34s might get cranky with me. (This is going to be fun.)
But you know what? There’s one demo that I am aging right into, and it’s BOOKS. I’ve got another ten years before I catch up with the largest demographic of readers, but if I want media that is designed with me in mind, I just need to visit my local bookstore. (You don’t need me to explain that most of these books will be written by/for/about white women of a certain age, which is just as problematic as the majority of blockbuster movies being created by/for/about white men aged 18–34.)
Last night I started reading Anna Quindlen’s new book Miller’s Valley, which isn’t strictly written for my demographic because it’s a coming-of-age story set in the 1960s, but it was still a warm welcome into not-young-anymore culture, where we get to sit down at kitchen tables and drink cups of tea and reflect on our youth—wait, am I going to have to spend the next 30+ years reflecting on my youth? I’d better buy something designed for young people so I don’t feel like that life has fully passed me by. Maybe some La Croix Malt Liquor.
Anyway, I turned thirty-five today, and I am a Millennial who is also No Longer Young, and I am very excited to see what culture we create now that we are out of the demographic that gets culture created for us.
Happy birthday to me, and to all y’all over thirty-fives. 🎂
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