Childless Old Man Tells Us Being Childless Is Selfish

I’m so bemused by this: Pope Francis (the cool one!), has mansplained to our overpopulated world that not having kids is “selfish.” Sure, it’s not news that the head of the Catholic Church — which barely believes in condoms when they can prevent the transmission of fatal illnesses — would be pro-kids. The commandment “Be Fruitful and Multiply” is, like, carved over the front door of the Vatican.1 I get it. But the Pope himself doesn’t have children. Doesn’t that mean he’s selfish?

Specifically he disapproves of couples deciding not to procreate for reasons of lifestyle or money:

“A society with a greedy generation, that doesn’t want to surround itself with children, that considers them above all worrisome, a weight, a risk, is a depressed society,” the pope said. “The choice to not have children is selfish. Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished.” …

Last year, he warned against the lure of a “culture of wellbeing” that can come when a couple does not have children and has the money and freedom to take nice holidays and buy a second home in the countryside.

“It might be better, more comfortable, to have a dog, two cats, and the love goes to the two cats and the dog,” he said. “Is this true or is this not? Have you seen it? Then, in the end, this marriage comes to old age in solitude, with the bitterness of loneliness.”

[Life] is enriched, not impoverished. Can’t it be both?

If he had kids, he would realize: formula is expensive. Milk, at the quantity children drink it, is expensive. Diapers are expensive even if you buy the generic ones in bulk. Babysitters are expensive. Winter clothes are expensive. Time is expensive. Childcare is so expensive it would make even the Pope curse. (Maybe in Latin.)

Nearly everything to do with a regular, healthy child costs money. Is the expense worth it? Sure! Most of the time! If you can juggle the expense with your other expenses and not go batty, and if your children aren’t sick too often, and if you don’t have too many other debts, stresses, and calls on your time, and you don’t mind never having a proper weekend again.

It helps when they hug you or say thank you or “I love you,” or when you get to introduce them to something new and exciting like their shadow and the concept of zero, and you see the light of excited discovery in their eyes. But those moments can be few and far between, whereas the changing the poop and getting up early parts are as routine as the sunrise.

Also I know older couples who have nice houses and well-stamped passports and pets rather than children and they’re doing just fine.

I don’t call Pope Francis selfish for choosing a career — the priesthood — over children. I understand that everyone tries their best to make the decisions that are right for them. Besides, as a wiser person once said, “Who am I to judge?”

1. [Not really, but wouldn’t it be cool if that were true?]↩

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