A Non-Grouchy Oscar Update!

In the most surprising thing that’s happened to me lately, I received a call from a strange number and during the weekday and got good news. Here’s how it went down.

PHONE: Buzz buzz!

ME: Hello? Subtext: Please make this quick, I’m eating lunch in my bathrobe, reading about Wonder Woman.

LADY ON THE PHONE: Is this Ester?

ME: Yes? Subtext: Unless you have anything stressful to tell me.

LADY ON THE PHONE: I’m calling from Oscar, your health insurance company, about a claim submitted by [your local pharmacy]. Can you confirm your address and birthdate for me?

ME: Yes …? Subtext: Oh god, they’re coming to take all my money, aren’t they. I’m going to have to bury my valuables in someone else’s yard since I don’t even have a yard, maybe the downstairs neighbors will help?

LADY ON THE PHONE: Great! Well, we understand that, because of a mix-up, you paid a co-pay for your flu shot. You shouldn’t have had to do that; that flu shot should have been free. We are going to reimburse you for that copay by sending you a check.

ME: Wait, really? That’s great, thanks!

LADY VIA PHONE: Yes! Subtext: with liberty and justice for all!

I just checked the amount. Fourteen smackeroos will be coming my way. Not enough $$$ for a new sweater; still, a respectable mini-windfall. Thanks, Oscar health insurance, for being proactive! Seriously, I expect so little from health insurance bureaucracies, especially where money is concerned. It took me nearly a year and seven phone calls to get a refund from Empire BCBS. Maybe this is a ploy and tomorrow cossacks will arrive at my door but for now I’m feelin’ fine. PSA: EVERYONE GET YOUR FLU SHOT, DON’T DIE.

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