Soulmates: Ruining the Economy As Per Usual

It’s a classic story. Boy meets girl in college. Girl dislikes boy, but then asks to be friends five years later. Boy says no, but changes his mind mind after they both go through bad breakups. Girl and boy start falling for each other. Boy freaks out after they finally act on their sexual tension. Girl doesn’t want to see boy anymore. But then boy confesses his love, and they live happily ever after — with two nice incomes.

Marriage has changed, because women’s opportunities have changed. Women graduate more, they work more, and they earn more than they used to. These are all good things. But marriage has also changed, because people want new things from it. Men don’t want a homemaker, and women don’t want a provider. Men and women both want a partner, someone who can help with their emotional and financial needs. So they wait until they’ve settled into their careers to tie the knot, and they try to find someone who’s doing the same. This is also a good thing.

But the consequence of all these good things is more inequality.

For the Atlantic, Matthew O’Brien discusses a new paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research that shows “assortative mating” — partnering with people who are like you — is on the rise and has contributed to a 25% increase in income inequality. In the end, it is the fault of women, who keep going to college and wanting to marry for things they learned watching too many romantic comedies (love, etc.).

And yes, somehow O’Brien ties all of this to When Harry Met Sally which is mostly irrelevant but to be fair, I clicked. And to be fair, this movie did shape 90% of my romantic fantasies from middle school onward, so maybe it is to blame for me marrying someone who also has a bachelor’s degree and who will never agree to watch When Harry Met Sally with me.

Or maybe the only thing this movie is to be blamed for, in my life, besides income inequality, is the fact that I was in love with my closeted gay best friend for the entirety of college and was convinced eventually we would get together and fall in love because that is what friends-with-tension do, right? Eventually they give in and fall in love, since men and women can’t actually be friends, obviously, so I might as well save my virginity for this guy who insists he is not physically attracted to me, WHATEVER THAT MEANS, even though I am the first person he wants to talk to in the morning and the last one he wants to talk to at night. Thank you, Nora Ephron.

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