Ways to Play It When Your $7 Grocery Store Salad Is Basically Rotten

• Get up from the table you are sitting at, and walk across the street and stand in line and say, excuse me please, I’m sorry, but I need to exchange this salad, as this one’s lettuce, it is liquid, liquid lettuce (get new salad.)

• Throw salad away (sunk cost).

• Pick out the gross parts (this is all parts).

• Think to future, after the the bomb or the war or the asteroid or the plague, see yourself hunched on the ground, wearing rags, eating dirt. Think of yourself then thinking of yourself now, not wanting want to eat a salad because the lettuce was wilted, boo hoo (eat salad).


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