Is This the Best Way to Ask for Time Off Or Only the Second Best?

MAY

WEEK ONE
First week of new (second) job. Perhaps I should tell them now that I have a wedding to go to the second week in September and I’ll need the whole weekend off. Ha, no calm down. That’s presumptuous! They might not keep me around that long. I might suck. I’ll wait.

WEEK TWO
Not fired.

WEEK THREE
Not fired.

WEEK FOUR
Not fired. I guess I could ask now? But I could also NOT ask now.

JUNE

WEEK ONE
I could ask now. But it’s still so far away! They’ll probably be like, stop being such a goody, slow your roll.

WEEK TWO
Slowing my roll.

WEEK THREE
Slowing my roll. (?)

WEEK FOUR
Today’s a good day. Everyone’s in a good mood. Soooo whyyyyyyy ruin it by asking for time off?

JULY

WEEK ONE
I could probably reasonably ask now. But: What if they decide it’s easier to fire me than give me time off?! That seems plausible to me. I’ll wait.

WEEK TWO
Still waiting.

WEEK THREE
Still waiting.

WEEK FOUR
But what am I waiting for, what am I doing.

AUGUST

WEEK ONE
Okay August. This is the time. I should ask today. Gonna ask today. (Don’t ask today.)

WEEK TWO
THIS IS IT. ONE MONTH OUT. Gonna sidle up, say I need the weekend off in a month. Head up, shoulders back. All good. Great. Gonna do it today. (Don’t do it today.)

WEEK THREE
I could just quit, and then I wouldn’t have to ask for the time off. That seems like a tenable solution.

WEEK FOUR
Okay. Wedding is in 2.5 weeks. I either need to give notice or ask for the time off. Today is the day. Today is the day. CONVENIENTLY, have therapy appointment today. Compose email to boss during therapy, with help of therapist, like 1 tiny bb child. (“I hope you understand.”) Send email. Wait for reply. Feel at peace. Out of my hands now. That wasn’t so bad. JK I’m about to puke.

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