Step Down From That Money Panic Ledge It’s Going to Be Okay Probably

Talking about my debt and having a plan to pay it off has helped me be a lot cooler about it. The frequency of STRESS ATTACKS during which I suddenly remember HOW MUCH MONEY I OWE AND HOW I’M NEVER GOING TO PAY IT BACK have really gone down. I’m just a human, with a large amount of debt, NBD. No one owns me I own me, and I have 1 plan. Cool. Chill. Namaste. I rarely panic about my credit card debt anymore. But I do still have moments when I’m in bed and my entire body seizes and my stomach drops because I remember about TAXES. Ways 2 deal:

• Immediately think of literally anything else

• World annhiliation still a real possibility in this lifetime

• Maybe next wave of Republicans will be so anti-taxes that they’ll cancel all taxes owed by anyone ever?

• Or maybe there will be a coup or bloodless revolution and THEY’LL push the reset button

• It’s not like I’m adding to my tax burden with every dollar I make!!!!!!!1

• Everything will be fine

• All things workout

• Maybe one day I’ll meet a perfect tax person and she’ll be like, I’ll help you, just give me access to all of your things and I’ll take care of all of it, you deserve this kindness

• Lottery

• Friend will get rich, pay off government for me

• Could have sick startup idea, suddenly develop follow-through, become my own rich friend

• Maybe I’ll be the witness of a crime? And I can negotiate to testify BUT ONLY if my tax debt is erased? All the government people know each other right that’s how it works? (“I won’t talk to anybody but the DA…and also a mid-level IRS employee”)

• I’ll just be paying it off forever, that’s fine, it’s fine, that is the plight of my people (my people being those of us who didn’t figure out not to do this to ourselves until it’s A Little Bit Late)

• At least there are not debtor’s prisons!!

• Space. Think of space. SPACE. We are specks. The IRS is less than a speck. SPACEEEEEEE.

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