Lisa and Bryan Are Moving in Together (Great Idea, Swell Idea)

by Lisa and Bryan

TO: LOGAN
FROM: LISA
SUBJECT: Billfold Idea? Maybe?

Hi!!! How are you? Staying warm? Dry? Is everyone around you safe? Are you so very happy that you moved before this huge natural disaster and now you’re not holed up in an apt you think has bedbugs (even though you know, logically, there are no bedbugs, but the idea that there could have been bedbugs at some point skeezed you out)???

Anyway. Bryan and I are moving in together next year — despite the stern warnings from my therapist that this will destroy our relationship. (Shut up Terry! You don’t know me!!…. ok, fine, you know me very well. I pay you a lot to know me, but STILL!! Don’t tell my heart what to do.)

Last night we had a conversation about what we’ll need for the new apartment. I mentioned new dishes. He thinks that’s absurd. We have dishes!! The idea of packing and moving them sounds annoying, but I know he’s right. We’ll move our dishes. We’ll move the furniture we have (although most of mine is shared with roommates so I don’t really own it so I guess we’ll move his furniture), and we’ll move the decor and appliances we have. There is really no need to buy new stuff. Hmph.

But it got me thinking about how this is going to work out.

Bryan makes more money than me, but only when he’s working (he’s a freelance producer). He has no debt (that I know of?). He regularly valets his car before looking for street parking. He usually pays for my dinner when we go out. He has more shoes than I do (even though they are usually bought at Target ). He pays all his bills by hand!! Like, opens the mail and writes and check and knows how much the gas bill is. I am terrible with money. I have $30,000 in student loans and credit card debt. I buy designer purses and put them on a credit card. I consider trips to India in the middle of a recession. I’ve been paying for Netflix for 5 months without having ever streamed a movie from them. It’s automatically deducted and I don’t see it happening. What money!?

In a few months, we’re going to have to make this work. We’ll have to compromise his non-cable having and my housekeeper-using financials. It’s going to be interesting. Well, at least for me. We were wondering if we could share the journey with your readers.

Also, think of how cathartic it will be when the final contribution is an article about us breaking up and people can throw pity at me via the comments and make me feel better about myself.

Love you!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa

TO: LISA
FROM: LOGAN
SUBJECT: Re: Billfold Idea? Maybe?

Dear Lisa,

I think that documenting your moving together for the website is a terrible idea for you, Bryan, and your relationship, but a great idea for me. Thanks for suggesting it. I expect your next dispatch soon.

Love (ALWAYS), logan x

P.S. That’s not really how comments work. But I’ll throw pity at you, sure.

TO: LOGAN
FROM: BRYAN
SUBJECT: (NO SUBJECT)

Hey Logan,

Lisa told me that you are on board with us documenting our move in together.

For me, this is the first time I will be living with someone — and I don’t just mean someone I was in a relationship with. Since I moved out of my parents’ house I have always lived alone and never had roommates, so this will mark my first cohabitation experience. I’m excited, but it also leaves me with a few questions: How are we going to split the bills? How much rent can we each afford to pay?

What Lisa said is true, I am debt free, other than the last $8,000 I owe on my car. I pay off my credit card at the end of every month. I watch my money closely but I’m not stingy. I do go to the valet without checking for street parking (the convenience is worth it to me) and I try to always pay when we go out. I feel like, as a man, if I can afford to pay, I want to. However, I have also always lived in a studio apartment, buy most things on sale, and cut my own hair, so it all seems to even out.

Lisa told me about her debt. Although she seems to think she will be paying it off for the rest of her life, I disagree. $30,000 seems like a huge amount, but I paid almost that much for my car and the payments have been very manageable. So the debt she thinks is a lifetime’s burden I don’t find that daunting. I think she expected me to be a little more scared of her debt. But I have really tried to adopt the philosophy we are what our past has made us. If it cost $30,000 to make her the person she is today, I think she is worth every penny.

I’m glad that we’re having these discussions now and I’m excited to figure it all out. I just hope Terry doesn’t get too mad.

Bryan

TO: BRYAN
FROM: LOGAN
SUBJECT: um i thought i was the fake therapist here

Dear Bryan,

Tattooing that last line on my chest, brb. Also I can’t believe you’ve never had a roommate. Lucky that Lisa gets to be your first one. logan x

Lisa and Bryan live in LA.

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