Going to the Movies, a Cost Breakdown

by Shannon Palus

• Transportation: walking, free.

• Smarties McFlurry (AKA outside food) which you brought into the movie theater unconcealed and right under everyone’s noses: $2.97* per group.

• Large popcorn and box of chocolate covered raisins: $11 per group

• Extra popcorn bag so that popcorn can be split between party members who do like movie theater butter and members of party who do not: $0

• Ticket price: $13.50, per person.

• Cost to watch part of American Reunion: $0.13 dollars/minute x 60 minutes = $7.73 dollars, which is maybe about $1 per masturbation joke. A good deal, but maybe not as good a deal as with the previous American movies.

• Wandering around after leaving American Reunion early to see Friends with Kids, due in part to rape culture frustration but also because that was the plan in the first place because Friends with Kids didn’t start until way after we got to the theater and we timed things poorly, and then realizing that the names of the movies are not listed above the theaters they are playing in and have to be told what theater your movie is playing in when you when you buy your ticket, probably to prevent people from doing what you are trying to do, and then sneaking around opening the doors to many of the theaters to try to figure out where it was playing, and failing to figure it out before you suspect security is on to you: $0.13 dollars/minute x 45 minutes = $5.77 dollars.

• Cigarette for walk home: $0.30, per person (one cigarette per person, at $6 for a pack of 20).

*All money is in Canadian dollars.

Shannon Palus usually rents documentaries on iTunes, from the safety of her apartment. Photo: Flickr/Wildcat Dummy

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