Smoke ’Em If You Got ‘Em

Two stories about the way we do weed.

Photo: tanjila ahmed/flickr

Today is 4/20, a “holiday” for smoking weed that, if you believe this story, was born out of a conversation between Deadheads in an Oakland parking lot in 1990 or the police code (420) for smoking weed in public or group of five high school kids in San Rafael. Either way, it’s a Thing now. And as the legalization of marijuana creeps slowly but surely across the country, we are inching our way towards an eventual future where weed is treated like a product available for sale in stores, without fear of arrest and sans stigma.

People have been making money off of weed since time immemorial; the only difference is that in some states, you can do it legally. Oregon is one of those states, which is also experiencing a record low in their jobless rate — down to 4 percent. Construction, manufacturing and government jobs are the ones cited by the article, but another very brief blip to consider is the fact that hundreds of people are applying for licenses to work in the burgeoning weed industry.

One Factor in Oregon’s Dropping Jobless Rate? Legal Weed

The licenses cost $100 and at least 16,387 people have applied. With a license, you can work at any company licensed by the Oregon Liquor Control Commission which exists to regulate recreational marijuana in the state.

On the flip side, if you live in a state where weed is still decidedly illegal and you still want to consume it, there are other ways: you call (or text) someone who, if you’re lucky, will deliver it to your home. The delivery people who bring a messenger bag full of weed and a pouch full of money into your home are essentially retail workers. Treat them as you would your barista or a waitress or anyone else performing a service for you.

How Not to Treat Weed Dealers, According to Weed Dealers

Weed dealers want to be in and out — to give you the product, take the money and move on to the next thing. There’s no need to try and foster a friendship in the hopes of getting a deal. Let them run their business and understand your role in said business and everyone will be happy. One theme runs through the experiences of all the weed delivery people in this piece — people are often very sketchy about money and their time.

I prefer to be contacted during normal business hours, on both weekends and weekdays. This is my only job at the moment, but I have a life outside of work. You wouldn’t want your boss or your clients calling you in the middle of the night on a Tuesday, so don’t expect me to pick up when you do that.

The only way these organizations are successful is if they’re run like a business; even if you’re working for yourself, it’s esential to set boundaries. Don’t send work emails at weird hours of the night and expect an answer; likewise understand that your guy maybe clocks out at a certain time and is, you know, trying to live.

Don’t ask me if you can pay me with Venmo. You can’t. Cash or nothing. Definitely don’t place a big order from me and then spring the “Oh, can I pay you in Venmo?” shit on me when I get there. It’s a waste of my time, and I’m not going to do you any favors in the future.

Why on earth would anyone ask to pay their weed dude with anything other than cash? I’m not surprised here, just disappointed. What is the lesson here? Be respectful of other people’s time and their money. Remember that they’re doing a service for you. Even if it’s illegal, it’s still a job.

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