Sperm Donor Bankrupted By Fatherhood, Regrets Nothing

Large sperm count. Even larger heart.

Thank you, New York Post, for providing us all with the best Father’s Day story that has not yet been optioned by Hollywood: that of pro bono sperm donor Professor Ari Nagel, who has 22 kids and counting.

Professor who donates sperm in city bathrooms has sired 22 kids

Nagel, who puts the “man” in Manischewitz, has gotten into the habit of providing his genetic material to women who want to conceive, gratis. 18 women so far have received his service with a smile. Some of them he even impregnates personally.

Sometimes, a lesbian looking to conceive will have her partner in the bed for moral support while she and Nagel engage in intercourse.

“She’s never slept with a guy before, so the partner’s in bed, holding her hand,” Nagel explains. “Sometimes, it could be a little painful, then after a few times, they’re comfortable to do it on their own.”

That is the weirdest threesome I have ever seen described in a newspaper. Indeed, rarely have I read an article that is composed of so much that is gross and great.

Gross: As we speak, he might be jerking off for a good cause in a public restroom near you!

He often uses public bathrooms, like those at Target and at Starbucks shops, to procure his samples and hand them off to ovulating women.

“You don’t want to do it in one where people are knocking,” he notes. …

“This isn’t time-consuming, and I’m doing it anyway,” he says of his hands-on hobby.

Great: He doesn’t charge, meaning that he is helping would-be moms who might not otherwise be able to afford the considerable expense of using a sperm bank, the costs of which can climb into the thousands of dollars.

Gross: “‘Never underestimate the desperation of a single woman on the Upper West Side,’ he says.”

Also some of the moms seem to disagree about the terms under which they became pregnant and have successfully sued him for child support.

The big daddy says that the angry moms are just hungry for money and that there was no misunderstanding.

“I think they went in with the intention to sue,” he claims.

Crystal, a Connecticut woman who has two sons, 6 and 7, by Nagel, says she wasn’t aware of any such arrangement.

The 45-year-old mom, who took Nagel to court for child support, says that she was expecting to co-parent with him and that she didn’t know of his plans to father an entire baseball team.

“My kids got left in the dust,” says the woman, who conceived both boys through intercourse. “You can’t co-parent with 20-something kids.”

Great: He seems authentically happy about being able to help people!

“I just love seeing how happy the moms and kids are . . . That’s why I do this,” he says. “It’s the gift that keeps on giving.” …

Nagel has a Facebook album of photos of his kids and regularly baby-sits and attends birthday parties and graduations. He has even been present for a handful of deliveries.

Fully half his paycheck is now garnished to support his myriad children.

“I don’t know what’s more surprising: that five sued or that 17 didn’t,” Nagel says. “They were all well aware there was no financial obligation on my part. They all promise in advance they won’t sue.”

Seems like some of the women he’s “worked with” would dispute that. Regardless, people often forget this when discussions of child support arise, but child support is for the kid. It’s not that mothers turn into greedy harpies; in most cases, it’s that so much of what children need, from health care to day care, is expensive.

Still, he says, je ne regret rien.

“Financially, it’s bankrupted me, but I’m still very happy with the way things turned out,” he says. “I got 22 million in the bank — in my kids.”

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