How I Ended Up with $3.64 and Change to Last Until Pay Day

On trying to outsmart and find a workaround for my most natural self.

I done fucked up. I had $3.64 in available funds in my checking account at the start of the week and a fistful of coins to last me until pay day. Let me explain.

I am not a moderate person, by any means. I swing wildly from one extreme to another in my spending. Before you ask, yes, I have tried budgeting. I have tried setting up a million ING accounts (this was a while ago) to act as electronic “sinking funds.” I even use Mint to track my spending on a daily basis. Mint is great; I have full visibility into what all my accounts are doing at any moment. This does not mean it acts as a tool to manage my impulses. Oh no, it does not.

In an effort to manage myself, I depend on automatic deductions, I don’t do credit cards, and I pay myself first by transferring whatever large sum of money I can stand to add to my “House Fund” online savings account at the end of each month. Last week, I impatiently transferred too much. (Is it just me, or does labeling savings accounts with aspirational names make you think and do crazy things?) Realizing my simple mathematical error, I cancelled my transfer.

The bank did not honor my cancellation.

Luckily for me, all my bills and obligations were paid for and my MetroCard and coffee canister was stocked. I was left with $3.64 in checking and five days until pay day. I could have transferred money from savings to checking, but that would take about three days, and apparently, my ascetic instinct took over.

So: I survived the last five days by eating out of my pantry (large portions of steel-cut oats and nuts), having many, many smoothies, protein shakes and scraps. I supplemented what I had with two bunches of kale ($4), bananas ($1.50) and a slice of cheese pizza ($1.96).

Now that I’ve been paid and I can cover my expenses, I don’t know why I chose not to transfer money from my savings account to avoid two extra days of extreme austerity. I suppose I wanted to prove that I could, or maybe convince myself that my spending personality is a reasonable one.

All insight welcomed. What is the deal with our most honest spending personalities?

Michelle Song is a writer and wannabe hippie working incognito in a Fortune 500 company. She dreams of growing her own avocados, among other things.

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