The Cost of Things: Circumcision (Mazel Tov!)

What A Little Snip Will Set You Back

Assuming all goes well, in about six weeks, my little family will be celebrating a bris, or a circumcision. The ritual, which welcomes a Jewish boy into the faith, traditionally takes place eight days after the birth and is performed by a professional mohel.

Since parents are often not in any condition to plan a party while caring for a brand new infant, it’s helpful to do a lot of the arranging in advance. And so my little family finds itself getting recommendations for mohels, talking to our rabbi and to people we know who recently had sons, and considering costs.

What does a procedure like this set you back? Chabad.org says that many mohels refuse to name a price, because they don’t want anyone to feel that they cannot afford something so important. Instead they tell parents to pay what they will or can.

One new mom I heard from in northern California had a very different experience:

I remember being shocked at the cost, but then checking with my sister (on Long Island) and her making it seem like it was a deal. On the day of, it was totally worth the price for somebody who presented as so knowledgeable and confident and orchestrated the whole thing. We paid $550.

Her husband, the new dad, told me that “if we had gone the secular route, our insurance would have covered the cost.” But they wanted the ritual, though they also wanted the ritual performed by a doctor if possible.

We knew we wanted someone who was also a pediatrician. We asked our rabbi, and she gave us the name of the mohel we used. It turned out our doula had also heard of her, and most of her Jewish clients who had boys had used the same mohel.

We talked to the mohel over the phone. She explained things clearly, seemed generally flexible and had a calming demeanor. She originally got into mohelling (or whatever you call it) after being unhappy with the mohel at her own son’s bris. She told us the goal was to have the baby sleep through the whole thing.

She sent us a set of instructions for how to get the baby ready for the bris — when to feed him, when to stop feeding him, keep him in a dark quiet room, etc. She used topical anesthetic and kept him calm with wine and sugar water. I remember being really happy to have a pediatrician doing it because as first time parents we had a lot of general questions that she was able to answer at a time when we were still a week away from our first pediatrician visit.

The instructions, which they forwarded to me, are impressively elaborate and help justify the price tag. Performing a bris it turns out is a lot like performing a wedding: doing it well involves a lot of prep work, materials, and getting to know the family.

It also involves some follow up, according to the mom:

This old ritual now has the mohel asking us to photograph the circumcision 24 hours later for her to check it out. Which was strange and modern. Only 9 days after having a son, I suddenly had baby penis images in my phone. AND because gmail does this thing were they associate images with contacts, and we actually happened to use my dad’s phone to send it, now whenever I get an email from my dad the image of my son’s penis is in the right-hand margin. If I was smarter, I’d disassociate it. But I don’t know how. So this ritual of covenant passed down through generations has a whole new meaning, because I’m reminded of it and all of good, bad, ugly every time my dad contacts me.

A New York (but non-Brooklyn) couple I spoke to paid $685 for their mohel, who was not a doctor. He informed them that they could submit the cost to their insurance company for reimbursement, though they can’t remember if that worked.

Another new dad in Los Angeles, by contrast, paid $900 for his mohel, MD. “We saw him perform a bris for a friend,” he told me. “He did a very nice job. Good jokes. So we asked him for a card.”

Following everyone’s general advice and example, Ben and I have more or less decided on a female pediatrician and mohel who comes recommended by our rabbis. She charges $850. So, yeah: not cheap. Hopefully she’ll bring her A material.

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