How a Woman Who Left Her Comfort Zone Does Money

Sara (not her real name) is currently working in Indianapolis.

So, Sara, tell us a bit about your finances.

My finances are simultaneously better than they’ve ever been and also not where I want them to be.

I just moved, which cut wayyyy down on cost of living, but the move cost money, plus I had to buy a car. Plus, the holidays.

So I currently feel very broke, but I know that once I pay off this month’s credit card bill, I will start feeling more on top of things.

One of the reasons I moved was because living in D.C. was not tenable long-term. I felt like I’d never get out of debt, never be able to live alone, never be able to save.

And all of those things seem much more doable in Indianapolis.

Congratulations on the move! I know that moving can be THE WORST, so I hope you are starting to feel settled in.

I have so many questions, so let’s start with this one:

Did you plan ahead financially for the move and the car purchase? Or did you go in thinking “well, this is going to cost some amount of money, and I’ll figure it out when I get there?”

Hahaha the move was very much not planned for financially, but I was very fortunate that work helped me out with a relocation package.

I learned about the transfer in August and moved in the last week of October, so it was all pretty much on the fly.

But that is how I’ve made 100 percent of my life transitions since college, pretty much, and it has always worked out for the best.

Did you want the transfer? You said you knew that living in D.C. was not tenable long-term, so was this an opportunity you were actively seeking?

It was more of a choice that came up because of changes at the organization I work for.

So the question was: Do you want to stay in D.C. and find a new job, or a get a new opportunity within the organization, but in Indianapolis?

I decided to bet on the opportunity that I knew more about and a location that was totally unfamiliar, rather than staying in my comfort zone and going back in the job search shark tank of D.C.

How did you end up in D.C., and at what point did you realize it wasn’t a sustainable place to live?

I came to D.C. while I was finishing up grad school, when I got my first full-time salaried job. The first nine months (before my student loan repayments kicked in) were really fun! Lots of boozy brunches, I got an awesome gym membership, and I discovered the world of endless fast-casual lunch options.

But after I started repaying my student loans, I started to realize that the relatively minor amount — $269—was the difference between me feeling like I was doing okay, and having $30 left in my bank account.

That makes sense! $269 doesn’t seem like much, but it’s a huge amount if you don’t have it. That Charles Dickens quote about misery vs. happiness, after all.

Over the past year, as I tried to make progress on my personal goals — moving to Capitol Hill, getting a cat — I realized both these things were also putting more stress on my budget than they should.

I didn’t feel like I should have a life with no options, just because of the real estate market, you know?

I love that. “I didn’t feel like I should have a life with no options.” What kind of options did you want? Besides a cat, which is the BEST OPTION.

I think about that a lot, actually, because my sister has chosen a life of (relative) poverty for her art. She lives with limited options because of a big creative choice she’s made.

Whereas the options I want, are smaller, more everyday:

I’d like to be able to travel and see my friends who live across the country.

I’d like to take good care of the cat (who is my queen) for a hopefully long life.

I’d like to donate to my sister’s Kickstarters and creative endeavors.

And eventually, when the next opportunity for a life change presents itself, I’d like to have a cushion that will let me enthusiastically say yes.

I like all of those options. It is interesting that those options don’t necessarily feel available if — and let’s just come out and say it — the rent is too damn high. Did I guess right?

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT.

Where were you living in D.C., and what did it cost you?

I lived in a newly renovated group house near H ST NE/Gallaudet with 4 roommates for $850 a month for my first year in D.C. We got burglarized twice, and it was a 20-minute walk to the metro. Then I moved a mile south to a three-bedroom (very un-maintained) apartment in Capitol Hill. My share was $900/month, plus $20 pet rent after I got my cat.

I should also mention both these rooms were the smallest rooms in both locations.

I’ve done group houses before, but by the time I moved to D.C. I was too old to hack it. I toured one, turned around, and walked out. So I’m impressed — and completely unsurprised about the burglaries and lack of maintenance.

Hahaha yeah, moving in D.C. is the worst.

What’s your new living situation like?

I pay $775 for a one-bedroom apartment in an apartment complex. I’m sitting at my desk, in my office (like this separate room with a door, which I at first filled with junk and boxes that I couldn’t deal with after the move but has now been reclaimed to be my creative space/workout room).

Right now, its pretty cold, but I have visions of coming home in the summer and sitting on my balcony and drinking a glass of wine.

Actually, this time last year, after listening to that Death, Sex & Money podcast about living alone, I was doing some visualization about my dream apartment and I wrote a lot of stuff down like this — coming home to a safe space, having a place of my own.

I just didn’t realize it would be in a completely different city.

I am so glad it worked out for you, and I hope you love Indianapolis! Dreams do come true, after all.

I want to ask you about your approach to saving/spending in general. What do you feel like you do well, and what do you wish you could do better?

Sure! I feel like I’m good at saving automatically. I take the full deduction for retirement at work, I have $100/month that goes into a Roth IRA (from before I had a retirement plan). I’ve also gotten better about frugalizing my exercise habit. I now workout entirely at home, and only spend about $30/month or so on classes.

I wish I was better at paying down my big debt and keeping my spending on my credit card under control. So, like, here’s my worst financial pattern/holdover from D.C.:

I put some stuff on my credit card. All important or deemed so at the time. I use my debit card to pay monthly expenses and bills.

I pay off the credit card balance in full at the end of the month, but have not much left over for savings or paying down student loan debt.

Then because I don’t have a ton of cash, I put something on the card and the cycle continues.

Yep. That wasn’t exactly my pattern when I was earning less money, but I totally get it.

How much of it do you think is “you buying stuff you don’t really need” vs. “you not earning enough money to fund your basic expenses?”

That’s a really good question.

I think it’s a combination, to be completely honest, and the balance has tilted in various directions.

Recently, its felt more on the side of “not technically essential” but helping fill an emotional connection or sense of comfort.

Like, spending $80 on decorative pillows at HomeGoods = not smart or essential. But it makes it feel like the futon I got from my parents when I moved is mine, and not a hand-me-down.

And when I come home and feel at home, that is something that I feel is worth it.

Maybe its the justification of consumption in the name of self-care (I was reading Ester Bloom’s piece at The Atlantic earlier). But I do think there’s something to be said about investing in yourself/your home, but then being sure to pump the brakes so it doesn’t become something you do all the time.

I’m currently doing a fitness challenge, and I had to tell myself that I really didn’t need to buy the workout videos, when they literally put very similar ones up for free on the internet! Stuff like that.

I talk to so many people who feel like they spend too much, and their “too much” is always something that, in retrospect, is relatively small. $300 on restaurants in a month (for two people). $80 in home furnishings. It’s so interesting that this is all it takes to push us into the “oh no, I shouldn’t have spent this” category.

I want to interview someone who says, “Yeah, I shouldn’t have bought that Sea-Doo.”

Hahaha!

One last question: what advice do you have for other Billfold readers?

Do you mean like general life advice, or like a short financial tip?

Either way. Most people go financial, but I’d love some good life advice. Follow your heart.

Ahhh, how ‘bout I give you both!

If you’re looking to press the reset button on your spending, follow the Frugalwoods’ Uber Frugal Month.

It’s manageable, she has lots of pictures of her greyhound, and it really helped me this summer.

Okay, hippie life advice: When you’re thinking about any big decision, or just feeling anxious and overwhelmed with being a 20-something on a planet that’s going through a rapid decline and oh why did you spend $80 on pillows… STOP. Breathe. Picture yourself in the future. Not a perfect, idealized future, where you lost ten pounds and moved to Prague. You as a wrinkly old lady, with lots of smile wrinkles and white hair. What would she say to you? What has her life been like? How are you going to get there?

Whenever I picture my old lady, she is sitting somewhere reading a future version of the internet and/or ebooks (I suspect they’ll all be the same thing by then) and is uninterested in talking to me.

I think in the future the internet will just be projected in front of our eyes just like 100 percent of the time.

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