Reflections On Taylor Swift And The End Of Wedding Season

Ester: Hallo!

Nicole: Hello! How is your Friday so far?

Ester: OK! I had a doctor stop by to give me my Life Insurance exam this morning, because I’m finally applying for health insurance, and of course I had forgotten all about it, meaning I was in a nightgown and on the toilet when he rang the bell, and Lara was fascinated by all the bad words I used.

Nicole: Why is it that Life Insurance exams are the only ones where they do house calls? The last time I had a Life Insurance exam, I put on this super-prim outfit and said “you might find evidence of marijuana in my test results” in a very sad voice, because I too was UNPREPARED.

Ester: Hahahahahha. My guy was a very observant older Jewish man who apologized before asking me a question about whether I had my period and who, instead of asking whether I did drugs, asked whether I had used any of “that funny stuff.” It was kind of charming. He was horrified at the end to look around and realize Ben had left, though; he said he doesn’t like to be left alone with women patients.

Nicole: Fair enough. I can only imagine what house calls are like from the other end. I wouldn’t want to just go into people’s houses every day.

Ester: Seriously! Instead you and I just talk about ourselves on the Internet. Speaking of which, it’s the end of Wedding Season on the Billfold! 31 days of stories about dealing with family, and saving money by getting married in Iceland, and the rest. What’s your main takeaway? Did anything stick with you / surprise you?

Nicole: I mean, certainly the bridesmaid with $4,000 of wedding debt stuck with me, first because it sounds outrageous but secondly because when you think about it, it’s not that outrageous at all. It costs roughly $1,000 to fly somewhere, stay in a hotel, whatever, even when you don’t go to a wedding. That’s just what Travel Costs, These Days.

What surprised you?

Ester: I expected frugality, as a general rule, from our ‘Folders, and I was not disappointed. In fact I was maybe a little surprised and impressed by how frugal so many people managed to be. I was young when I got engaged, only 23, and my parents took over everything, and I was kind of timid and what did I know, and they made all the decisions, like it was 1890. Every suggestion I made to cut costs was rejected out of hand. My parents felt it was very important not to look cheap and that mattered to them more than my own comfort level at having an expensive wedding. OK, that sounds bad, but I think they figured I would get over it, whereas neighbors might gossip for decades, and it’s true, I did get over it; I just wonder whether they (vastly?) overestimated how much other people care about such relatively trivial things.

Nicole: Well, I think there is certainly a level of cheapness you do not want to fall below, because then you’re making your guests uncomfortable. And people do talk about the wedding where the chairs were bad, or the cake was weird, or whatever. So I get where they’re coming from. But above that level, it’s all literally gravy, right? Like, actual catered gravy?

Ester: To me, yes! To others, maybe not so much. To Taylor Swift, WHO KNOWS. Maybe she’ll serve gravy made out of Katy Perry’s tears.

Nicole: Ester, you have no idea how sad I was to open up my internet news sites and learn that TAYLOR SWIFT IS GETTING MARRIED and that it was too late to run a piece on The Billfold as part of Wedding Season.

Ester: Be strong, Nicole! We’re chatting about it now. Yes, Tay-tay is (might be?) getting married, I can only assume because she got some bad press lately and needs to change the conversation, and you told me her fiance is some dude named Calvin? Which we agree is a Good Name.

Nicole: “Adam Richard Wiles, better known by his stage name Calvin Harris, is a Scottish singer, songwriter, record producer, remixer and DJ.” I just looked him up on Wikipedia. And Calvin is a great name. There are many noble Calvins of literature and newspaper comics.

Ester: OMG according to this tabloid, Calvin needs to get her dad’s permission! Why did no one write for us about the costs of that?

Nicole: Can we have Wedding Season next year too? I feel like there are so many more stories that need to be told.

Ester: I think we should have Wedding Season every six months. I’m not bored yet. But we’re changing gears in case other folks are and so we don’t get mistaken for A Practical Wedding. Not that there’s anything wrong with APW! You guys are solid! But yeah, next up is College, I think?

Nicole: That is what I understand. I can hardly wait. College was expensive when I went, and that was ten years ago.

Ester: Yes, it is a subject on which everyone has much to say and even more to feel. I will miss out on the first week of the fun, as I will be taking my First Ever Billfold Vacation™ to Maine.

Nicole: I am so excited for you! I have never been to Maine, but I imagine it’s kind of like Blueberries for Sal plus Jessica Fletcher plus Stephen King. (And I bet I just listed a bunch of things that aren’t set in Maine.)

Ester: Hee! There are wild blueberries everywhere, but lobster is more expensive than you’d hope. The water is cold, even in August. The stars are bright. And Stephen King lurks behind every abandoned barn. It’s pretty nice, all told. Are you traveling anywhere in August?

Nicole: I am going on my annual trip to Intervention http://interventioncon.com in the DC metro area, and this time I get to stay with my sister and her husband in their new house! But otherwise I’ll be staying here, minding my brand-new Patreon. Yes, Do 1 Thingers, I finished setting it up yesterday. 🙂

Ester: Congrats! I was born and grew up in DC, so say hi for me.

Nicole: Will do. I’ll walk right up to Lincoln and say “Ester Bloom says hello.” And then he’ll nod slightly and smile, but nobody will be able to see it but me.

Ester: Then go to the street where I lived, which is, I swear to god, Unicorn Lane, and do the same thing with the big cement unicorns out front.

Nicole: Wait, I lived in DC for four years, how did I miss the big cement unicorns? This is awesome.

Ester: What can I say? I guess Unicorn Lane is kind of like Pineapple Place or Brigadoon. But if you are able to find it, blow it a kiss.

Nicole: I will. Because there is no way I’m actually kissing cement unicorns, that would be totally disgusting.

Ester: Oh, and on the topic of unicorns: Happy birthday Harry Potter / JK Rowling!! May you never need anything more substantial or more difficult to get than a pair of good wool socks.

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