Throwing Parties, Going to Parties, Spending Money on Parties

by Mike Dang and Logan Sachon

Logan: I feel like we talk about weddings all of the time always, but ha, I would like to talk about them some more. I went to a wedding last weekend, in Virginia. One of my dearest friends from college, and many other dear friends were there. It was a multi-day event: A cabin and hiking on Thursday with some of the other girls, we all helped set up on Friday and then there was the rehearsal and a dinner for everyone who was in town, then the wedding was Saturday. And I had the best time, and while I was there, I just kept thinking: This is literally all anyone should spend their money on. Throwing parties and going to parties with all of their best friends. I can’t believe I’ve ever said anything bad about them.

Mike: I agree with this to an extent! So I usually bring my lunch to work and although it’s to save money, it’s also so that I can use that money to go out to dinner on the weekend if that is a thing that I can do. So if I’m not spending $8 a day on lunch throughout the workweek, that’s $40 I have to spend on a dinner I’ll remember, and not on sad sandwiches that I won’t. So yes: Agree that the best money spent is on these kinds of occasions.

Logan: I’m laughing to myself, because, hah, I also want to spend money on lunch. Haha. I want it all! So while I was at this wedding, having the best time, I was trying to remember why I’m always talking shit about weddings, and I couldn’t remember. And then I was thinking, how could regular life look like someone else’s wedding all the time.

Mike: Logan, you went from “this is literally all anyone should spend their money on” to “I want it all!” Which is hilarious to me. I like weddings. And I credit my friends for throwing the kinds of weddings that don’t break the bank for you to attend them. But Logan, I don’t think you want regular life to look like someone else’s wedding all the time. Last year I had, what, seven or eight weddings to attend? I didn’t have any this year (maybe because people thought 2013 was an unlucky year? I don’t know, that was a rumor I think). Anyway, having that many weddings to plan to attend in one year was really stressful. And also expensive after you added everything up.

Logan: Hah it’s because everyone you know is already married! And maybe if I had seven weddings to attend, then it would force me to change some habits, you know, to pay for the weddings. But my real idea I think was to have everyone live in the same place and eat all our meals in a tent.

Mike: Haha, like some kind of cult? I guess I’m signing up to join this cult. Also, everyone living in the same place and then eating meals together: Hogwarts.

Logan: I mean, I don’t think it would HAVE to be a cult. There’s a fine line between a community and a cult. Or maybe just one charismatic leader. Have you ever been in a cult? I haven’t, which kind of surprises me a little bit. I was a Christian for a few years, if that counts. I think I could be easily drafted.

Mike: No, I’m more of a solitary person than the kind of person who would join a cult. Like you’re more likely to find me living in the woods with a long beard and a Gandalf-staff than mixing Flavor Aid for people to drink (fun fact: it was Flavor Aid and not Kool-Aid at Jonestown). ANYWAY. Back to only spending money only on group events/celebrations. Do you watch Portlandia?

Logan: I’ve only seen the first season!

Mike: It’s on Netflix streaming! Anyway, there’s an episode in the third season. Episode 4: Nina’s Birthday. And in the episode a character named Nina decides to throw a birthday party for herself and invites all of her friends. The itinerary for the birthday includes things like: horseback riding, sunrise yoga, and a tapas dinner party. And there is a scene where a couple decides whether or not they can afford to go to the birthday, and when they decide they can’t skip it, they go to the bank to get a “birthday loan.” It’s a very funny episode. No Doubt makes an appearance. This is how I feel about these big celebrations sometimes though: Can I afford it? How can I make it work in my budget? Why are some of these things so expensive? Also the idea of going to a big group thing where you don’t know everyone and then having to deal with the check at the end where inevitably it doesn’t add up so you end up paying extra. This is all in that episode by the way. They get it.

Logan: I don’t really believe in birthday dinners out. Not part of my cult plan! Not big groups at least. Four and under, I think. Split evenly among everyone, including the honoree. Or paid for entirely by the birthday girl if she can afford it. I prefer to throw my own birthday parties. “I’m alive! And to celebrate, I’ve bought you all food and booze. Rejoice.”

Mike: Affordability is the key there, because then your friends would just say, “hey, no, it’s our treat, because it’s your birthday!” My preferred way to celebrate someone’s birthday is to take them out for dinner one-on-one.

Logan: My preferred way to celebrate someone’s birthday is to forget until Facebook tells me and then send them an email two days later. :/

Mike: The important part is that you remembered at all!

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.