Solutions to Everyday Problems at the Office: The Disgusting Fridge
by B. Benson
There is no room in the office refrigerator for your lunch because it’s full of your coworkers old lunches.
Send an email to everyone in the office with the subject line, “Our refrigerator is disgusting” and in the body of the email write, “What should we do about it?”
Have one of your colleagues write back, “What are YOU going to do about it, Bob? ;)”
Grab a blank piece of paper from the printer and write a passive aggressive note reading, “If you can please go through the fridge and throw away anything your no longer eating/is growing mold on it that would be wonderful,” and tape it to the fridge.
Come back an hour later to see a note taped over your note reading, “Stop writing passive aggressive notes, Bob. Also, it’s ‘you’re’ not ‘your’.”
Sit at your desk and instead of doing your work, make a list of people who you think wrote that note about you. Was it Liz from accounting? Blame Mark. It always ends up being Mark.
Go over to Mark’s desk and ask him if he wrote that note about you. Watch him as he says, “What are you talking about, Bob?” and then begins to chuckle.
Eat your room temperature sandwich at your desk. Furrow your eyebrows.
Have Margaret, your boss’s assistant, come up to you halfway through lunch to ask you, “Bob, did you write that note and put it on the fridge?”
Think carefully and say, “Um, no?”
Have Margaret, your boss’s assistant, say, “Because if you did, I agree with you. The refrigerator is disgusting.”
Receive an office-wide email from Margaret later that day that says, “We’re instating a new policy: All food stored in the refrigerator must be consumed by the end of the week, or it will be thrown out. Today after work, Bob and I will be cleaning out the fridge.”
Hear, from across the room, Mark laughing. Probably at you.
After work, help Margaret clean out the fridge. When she holds up an old container of moldy potato salad and exclaims, “This is disgusting! People are disgusting!” don’t mention to her that it belongs to you.