Things I Would Pay $200 for, If They Existed
by Katherine Coplen

$200! It’s a lot of money and … not a lot of money, but actually it’s kind of a lot of money. Unless it’s for The Perfect Thing. What would you spend $200 on, Katherine Coplen?
1. A time machine to 1972 to see Led Zeppelin live just after the release of IV, just for a moment.
2. A Gmail application that writes very kind emails to very sweet PR people circling back for the 10th time on a horrible pitch.
3. Portable, purse-sized ice cream maker that requires no ingredients and doesn’t need to be plugged into anything, that can create the precise flavor you’re craving at any time, and contains zero calories. And zero mess.
4. Someone to explain to me, very slowly, why it is okay that I still love R. Kelly unreservedly while simultaneously feeling icky about the personal life of Woody Allen, clearing up the constant artist/art argument that occupies my head way too often.
5. The perfect pair of jeans.
Katherine Coplen lives in Indianapolis.
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