Alternative Bank of America Email Alerts

by Lauren Rodrigue

Bank of America Alert: You’ve Really Gone and Done It This Time Idiot

Bank of America Alert: Are You Kidding Us?

Bank of America Alert: You Already Have Three of Those

Bank of America Alert: You Could have Been a Contender

Bank of America Alert: We Feel Bad for You!!!!!!!!

Bank of America Alert: You Seriously Need to Stop Like Literally Right Now

Bank of America Alert: STOP STOP STOP

Bank of America Alert: RING RING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS CALLING TO BREAK UP WITH YOU LOL

Bank of America Alert: Find a New Country to Live in, Sister, Because Capitalism Ain’t for You, OBVIOUSLY

Bank of America Alert: We Saw You Walk out of Forever21 Last Weekend Without Buying Anything and We Are Wondering, Do you Think You Deserve Some Kind of Prize?

Bank of America Alert: We’ve Decided to Have You Killed

Lauren Rodrigue lives in New York.

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