How to Pay for a Bottle of Wine

Yesterday at the wine store Miranda and I were in line together. When it was our turn, I pulled out my wallet. She pulled out her wallet.

“I’ve got this,” she said.

“No. I’m paying,” I replied.

“No, you paid last time.”

“Let me pay.”

The cashier interrupted us.

“You know who does that? Little old ladies. So keep doing that if you want to become little old ladies.”

So I said, “I’ll pay.” And Miranda said, “No, I’ll pay.” And I said, “No, I’ll pay.” And at that moment we did, in fact, turn into little old ladies. The cashier stepped back in shock, Miranda laughed with glee, I took the opportunity to swipe my gift card and be done with it, and then we walked out of the store arm-in-arm, our newly white hair glowing in the moonlight.

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