P.S. In Response to Your Request for Salary Requirements

I helped a friend write a cover letter. I got stuck on one line.

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, I’d like to wait until I have a better understanding of the position and its demands before specifying a number. Thank you for understanding.

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, my salary requirement is between $30,000 and $35,000, which I suppose just means: $30,000.

• P.S. In response to you request for salary requirements, actually, yeah, I would take $29,000.

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, I can’t possibly say until I know if my therapist is in-network on your insurance plan.

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, I am familiar with median and mean salaries for similar positions in this region, and I believe we’ll be able to come up with a mutually satisfying number. (Also, I would love to use my research skills to assist your excellent organization.)

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, the minimum I need to pay my bills is $14,852. I would like more than that, but if you paid me that, I could live. This is after taxes by the way, so if you could figure out the math on your end, that’d be great.

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, are you really going to decide whether to interview me or not based on what I write here? Really? Is it really possible that my perfectly-matched resume and carefully written cover letter will mean nothing if I ask for too much money here?

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, no.

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, it’s a buyer’s market, I’ve heard.

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, you could offer me whatever you want to, and I’ll take it, and you knowww itttttt.

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, is this the part where I say I want this job so bad I’ll be an unpaid intern? Because I want this job so bad I’ll be an unpaid intern. Will work for snacks.

• P.S. In response to your request for salary requirements, why are you asking me this you already know exactly what you’re willing to pay it’s hard enough out here without these mind games I hate you I hate you I hate you.

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