Buy New Food, But Keep the Old (Syke, Don’t)

Marketplace has a handy guide to how long you can and should hang on to food after you buy it, but the gist of it is this: “Just buy less and there’ll be less to spoil.” I’m a food safety genius (I don’t buy ANY groceries).

In related news, I did buy a fruitcup (it’s a cup, with fruit in it) four nights ago (I was intoxicated). I then walked home and immediately fell asleep with the fruitcup still in my purse. In the morning, I woke up and wondered: Is a fruit cup that’s been in one’s purse all night edible? I didn’t have an answer, so I put the fruitcup in the refrigerator and went and bought other things to eat (coffee, baked goods). Days later, I’m still debating the answer to this question, while my fruitcup waits, alone. (On one hand, what could possibly be wrong with it? On the other hand, what a dumb thing to die by, death by fruitcup). The fruitcup was $5, which is currently about 50% of my net worth, if that changes anything at all.

Photo: shutterstock/cospv