On Love and Cohabitation

Photo by Madi Doell on Unsplash.

Today’s must-read essay comes from Carolita Johnson at Longreads, in which she “tallies the costs and benefits of love and cohabitation as a woman artist living in a patriarchy:”

[…] I was very aware of the usual ways social convention and emotional laziness can make living together more beneficial for a man than for a woman when there’s one of each in the equation.

Yet I watched it happen. It started with me doing all the work to find the apartment and negotiate the lease, laying out the full deposit myself, doing the repairs myself before we moved in, and then, once we had moved in, paying for household items he didn’t prioritize, like a sturdy, airtight trash bin that wouldn’t attract roaches or fall apart after six months.

But don’t assume this is a story about how men are jerks, because it isn’t. Like real life, it’s more nuanced — and complicated — than that.

Read the whole thing, enjoy Johnson’s illustrations, and let us know what you think.


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