Who Is Your Money Therapist?

Who do you talk to about money?

No one likes to talk about money because it’s uncomfortable. Right now, everything is uncomfortable; the world is crumbling slowly but surely around us, but that doesn’t mean that the ordinary anxieties of your day to day life have disappeared.

I find that everything is exacerbated now, anyway. My left eyelid twitch has made a triumphant return, encouraged by stress, or lack of sleep or both. Some nights, I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep and wake up refreshed; lately I have been utilizing a three hour long YouTube video of “sleep music” to lull me to slumber. Really, though it doesn’t matter. Life is still plodding along. Bills still need to be paid, budgets need to be observed. Money, money, money. Talking about it honestly makes it less scary, so we should all do it way more often.

If I could, I would talk to everyone about money because I find it endlessly, ceaselessly fascinating. I want to know how much your coat cost and where you got it. Please tell me more about how you saved enough money to go on vacation for an entire month. No, you shouldn’t buy that closet organizer, it’s too much money, here’s another thing. If the äppäräti in Gary Shteyngart’s Super Sad True Love Story were real, broadcasting credit scores and stress levels at all times, I wouldn’t mind all that much. Have a wine. Sit down. Talk to me about savings. I want to hear it all.

Call it a “money therapist “— or, as Mike helpfully pointed out, a “financial planner” — but everyone needs someone to talk to about money, in an environment that feels safe and relatively non-judgmental. Money and guilt walk hand in hand; every purchase I make comes with its own baggage, self-imposed but still very much real. Understanding that that guilt is a manifestation of my own secret fear that I’m actually very bad with money and not semi-decent like I think I am is half the battle. Discussing it out loud helps.

My sisters and I talk about money incessantly, worrying about whether or not one of us can afford the vacation we all ant to go on, or arguing over who forgot to Venmo the $10 for one beer and half an order of fries. I talk to my friends about saving money and spending it and the merits of both regularly. Having an open and transparent dialogue about money in both the abstract and the very, very granular is important, even though it’s uncomfortable at times. This is why we do what we do.

Is it a friend? A partner? Your dog? Do you have a financial planner? A diary? The barista who makes your coffee every morning that you maybe want to ask out but won’t because it’s creepy? Is it the Billfold’s commenters? Who is your person? Who do you talk to about money?

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.