Skies Out, Thighs Out!
Friday chatting about short shorts and big dreams
NICOLE: Happy long weekend! Happy Friday! Happy first Billfold Summer Friday!
ESTER: Summer Fridays! So exciting. And it actually feels like summer here all of a sudden, just in the past couple of days. Which is why Balk is weighing in on the question of whether grown men can wear shorts.
NICOLE: Of course grown men can wear shorts. I disagree with the idea that shorts make men look like children. (The people who are going to look child-like, in terms of the clothes they choose, aren’t suddenly going to look more grown-up because they are wearing longer pants.)
Also: WEAR WHAT YOU WANT. Skies out, thighs out.
ESTER: Ha! I’ve never heard that before. But maybe I will tell that to myself. I’ve had a hard time feeling like I was allowed to wear shorts, even though that is RIDICULOUS and I am in favor of body confidence and ladies feeling empowerful and all of that. Old insecurities die hard, I guess.
NICOLE: There’s a difference between “I don’t want to wear shorts because I feel like I need to meet some kind of beauty standard” and “I don’t want to wear shorts because, for women, they are often so short that when you sit down, the fabric bunches up where fabric should not bunch, and you show parts of your body that you might not want to reveal, and seriously why can’t they make some attractive longer shorts for women that aren’t huge and boxy, what is the deal here.” Which is why I generally avoid wearing shorts, although I do like my so-called “emergency” pair.
The Cost of Buying Emergency Shorts: An Update
ESTER: Yes, all of that factors into the decision too!
NICOLE: I used to be Capri-length pants ONLY. For years.
ESTER: Nicole, that is where I am NOW. It’s face-meltingly humid outside and I’m in three-quarter-length jeans. Bah! Maybe this summer I will give two fuck-you fingers to the Internet trolls who live inside my head and decide I no longer will be constrained by their stupid rules.
Anyway, in non-clothes-related news, did you read this article about how quitting your job to pursue your passion is bullshit?
Quitting Your Job to Pursue Your Passion is Bullshit
NICOLE: I’ve read a few pieces like this before, but this one was not what I was expecting!
ESTER: Good, right? I know, it’s not the newest most revolutionary idea ever, but it’s well-expressed and anyway the message is worth repeating.
NICOLE: I think the annual reminder that not everyone can DWYL, and not everyone can quit their jobs to pursue passion careers, and not everyone can just make a fresh start as a freelance writer or an app designer or whatever, is important.
ESTER: Yup. I think DWYL held up as a new gold standard, but in a way, it’s just our messed up gig economy playing us, making us think that independence will be worth the loss of benefits and stability. It can be, sometimes! But a lot of times it only really works if you have a decent amount of privilege to start with — the kind of family support and savings to fall back on that a person often needs in order to have a high tolerance for risk.
NICOLE: I also think we need more reminders that this thing that we do is just a job. There are a lot of fun parts to it, but it should only be seen as an enviable path if the thing you envy is writing 2,000–3,000 words a day on topics your clients choose and hitting multiple deadlines every day. If the thing you envy is public recognition or the chance to be part of an online community or the chance to write about something you value, there are other ways to do that. (I am, right now, cribbing the discussion I led at Mini-Con, on the subject of “even Nicole repeats herself regularly.”)
But I also think, to tag on to the hobbies discussion you started this morning, that part of the reason people want to have passion jobs is because today’s jobs don’t leave a lot of extra room for passions or hobbies. You can still do the “work all day and write all night” thing, but it’s harder, and sometimes company rules about moonlighting make it harder, and you start thinking, “My life would be easier if this were my day job.”
ESTER: Definitely. It cuts both ways though. One commenter said, “I hope you’re making time for your own hobbies!” and my initial reaction was, I’m not sure I deserve hobbies, since I turned writing — which I used to do for fun — into something I do for profit. That’s ridiculous, of course; everyone “deserves” hobbies. But I do still feel kind of guilty about it, I guess! And exhausted by it at the same time! My Best Self for 2016 will figure out how to wear shorts and make time for a hobby, dammit. (It’s not too late to set goals, is it?)
NICOLE: Absolutely not! We still have half the year left! Set all the goals you want. Skies out, thighs out, um… something that rhymes with “goals” out…
ESTER: Sky brassy, get sassy. That’s for shorts.
NICOLE: Ice creams out, dreams out? 18 holes out, goals out? (That one is for a different type of person, probably.)
ESTER: Yes. Yes it is. 🙂
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