A Conventional Friday Chat

ESTER: Hello!

MEGHAN: Welcome back! What’s double motherhood like?

NICOLE: Double motherhood oh my god! (Seriously though, BabyBoy is adorbs.)

ESTER: Thanks! He is increasingly baby-like and less blobby as time goes on, so that’s fun. Double-motherhood is kinda stressful, to no one’s surprise, but we’re taking it one day at a time.

Meghan, where do you stand on the question of conventions? I was fascinated to read about Nicole’s take on them and how many, Nicole, you seem to do a year, because I don’t think I’ve ever gone to one that I didn’t have to attend for work. What about you, Meghan? Are you conventional or unconventional?

Mapping My Career Through Conventions

MEGHAN: Surprising absolutely no one who knows me well, I despise conventions. I do not like large groups of people in one place. I once faked a panic attack to convince the cops to get me out of a parade (half-faked, tbh). I had to attend AWP for work during my MFA program, and I kept excusing myself to a bathroom on a floor far away from all the people where I would hide in the stall and practice deep breathing. Nicole, I honestly don’t know how you do it.

NICOLE: I am one of those introverts who really enjoys interacting with people when she has a specific role to play. So if you plunk me in a cocktail party, I am going to try to make small talk and then make an excuse to leave, but if you put me in a situation where I am leading a discussion or participating in a discussion or moderating something or even just going to talk on somebody’s brand-new podcast, I can contribute. I think the boundaries around conventions help me, in a way. I know what I am supposed to do, so I can do it well.

ESTER: That makes sense to me. I guess I fall in between you two: I want to attend conventions like AWP but I don’t let myself, either out of a sense that I’m not sufficiently qualified / legitimate yet or that the events themselves are too expensive. Or, really, both, since if I felt legitimate, the money would probably cease to be an issue.

MEGHAN: I think I could drum up the necessary energy if I felt there was something to be gained, but I’ve always been a bit mystified by the whole convention idea, especially in the age of social media, webinars, video chat, etc. Granted I’ve had very limited exposure, but most of my memories from AWP are of a dark basement and lots of nervous yet entitled writers throwing business cards at each other. It all had the feeling of, like, there’s one small cake hidden somewhere and everyone wanted a very big piece. What have been the biggest benefits you’ve found, Nicole?

NICOLE: Well, like I wrote this morning, small conventions gave me the chance to be the professional I wanted to be. And then I kind of grew into the role, along with the conventions. We’re talking “300 people” size at this point, so I didn’t jump into the wall-to-wall bodies conventions (although I’ve attended a few of those, and I spend a lot of time hiding from the wall-to-wall bodies). But for me it wasn’t quite a meritocracy, because there aren’t really true meritocracies and because I came to the convention with a lot of pre-learned public speaking and teaching skills (so I was already privileged in that aspect) but I was, like, a n00b with very little experience and they still let me moderate a panel on how to make money as a creative artist (yes, I started with those kinds of panels right away, years before I would do any personal finance writing) because I was good at moderating. And then you meet all of the people who are on the panel, and you get this benefit from that, because they read you as a peer. It sounds so mercenary when I put it that way.

MEGHAN: No, that sounds smart! And a bit ruthless, sure. But mostly smart. Networking is a skill I simply do not possess. It sounds like conventions gave you the space to learn how to do it right.

NICOLE: I wouldn’t be able to walk up to some of the people I’ve paneled with and say “Hi, I’m Nicole! Here’s what I do! Want to talk?” but if we’re on a panel together, they already know that because I am, like, required to say it as part of the panel introduction. And then we often start talking afterwards.

ESTER: It all makes so much sense to me when you say it. Like, of course they are excellent places in which to network, to gather potential clients and confidence and experience. But why do we have to pay so much to gain that experience? Am I just grumbling? Maybe I’m just grumbling.

NICOLE: I would love to go to more conventions where they pay my entire way, but I’m also happy for the tax deduction on the other end, when I tally up all of my costs. I should do some math on how much extra I’d pay in taxes if I didn’t go to conventions. I could rough it out by saying “22 percent of $6,000 is $1,320,” and even though that number probably doesn’t represent the exact figure, it’s still significant!

ESTER: How many conventions do you go to a year? And has that number grown?

NICOLE: Okay, I have to think about this for a second… I am probably going to do six this year (four of which are already done), and that feels like fewer conventions than I did last year. I’ll look at my calendar and pull up that number.

MEGHAN: SIX! That’s a lot of conventions.

NICOLE: Last year I did eight.

MEGHAN: EIGHT IS A LOT OF LEGS, DAVID. Do you have advice for a convention newbie?

NICOLE: SO MUCH ADVICE!

First of all: figure out what you specifically want from the convention. Do you want to meet editors? Do you want to meet one specific editor? Do you want to get to know the convention staff, with the idea that you’ll start paneling next year? Do you want to learn more about an aspect of your career, and are you going to look up all the panels that specifically focus on that aspect so you can attend them? If you go in knowing what you hope to get out of it, you’ll be more likely to get it.

Second of all: think about the self-care thing in advance. Pack snacks, make time for sleep, and so on. If you’re the kind of person who would not do well sharing a room with three other people, get your own room even if it’s at the cheaper hotel down the block (or the cheaper hotel a bus ride away). If you need a lot of alone time, make that a priority. It’s much better to go to the two panels you really want to attend and then hide in your room for two hours than try to power through, because when that moment comes and you meet THE PERSON or whatever that you want to talk to, you need to have the energy and the ability to have that conversation.

Third of all: elevator speech, business cards, all of that stuff. I need to get new business cards before PNWA in July, because at Norwescon I had to apologize when I handed my cards out because they were outdated. Ugh. Think about what you’re wearing, which is kind of annoying, but a lot of people don’t dress up for conventions so you can stand out a little if you do business casual. (Also, when you get someone else’s business card, do the thing where you write context on the back, so you’ll remember it later.)

Fourth of all: the other attendees are your peers, and getting to know them is super great! Often you’ll see the same people come back year after year, and if you make friends now you’ll have someone to sit with next year, and so on. Also, you’ll grow together and that’s just cool, when it happens. You’ll come back to the same convention in five years and say “wow, we were so young and inexperienced, and now our careers are starting to move forward!”

How’s that?

ESTER: Humblingly good. If a person can only prioritize one conference or convention, how do you advise they choose?

NICOLE: Start local and small. You’ll save on costs and you’ll probably get to know more people. Plus you’ll learn how conventions work without being overwhelmed by walls of bodies.

MEGHAN: I have a whole new inadequacy to mull over!

NICOLE: You are not inadequate! The Seattle Review of Books did a whole series on attending AWP this year, and the very first installment was “you are not inadequate.” (I would also advise reading that series to learn more about “how to convention.”)

ESTER: I will read that link. And do some deep breathing. Then, Meghan, maybe you and I can coordinate going to a convention at the same time. We can clutch each others’ arms in a fearful way as we take tentative steps into various ballrooms.

MEGHAN: I’ll bring my business cards. (I don’t have business cards.)

NICOLE: Maybe we can do a “making business cards” Friday Chat next week, LOL. We can motivate each other to get them done, and compare whether we went with the skinny rectangle ones or the square ones or the ones that are also thumb drives…

ESTER: In that one respect, I am actually all set for any convention that crosses my path: I’ve had mini Moo cards for years, and I really like them. I have a cute little case to carry them in, too.

NICOLE: I also have mini Moos! They’re so adorable.

ESTER: You have my permission to be inspired, Meghan. 🙂 Besides, once you have business cards, you’ll feel compelled to go out and about to distribute them. (In my case gradually over the course of years, but still.)

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