Friday Chatting About Planes, Which Are Miracles, and Airlines, Which Are The Worst

Ester: If you wanna chat, ND, I could do that now for a bit!

Nicole: I am about to board my flight, so I don’t think I’ll have Wi-Fi for a while. We could just chat here as I stand in line!

Ester: Hahahaha sure! I’m flying JetBlue tonight which, for the first time since I started taking it, charges for checking more than one bag. I’m pretty sad about that. What about you?

Nicole: How many bags do you have to check? I’m flying Sun Country, which is the budgetest of budget airlines.

Ester: Well, I think we’re trying to keep it to one a person, which we always do anyway, and then we end up with like fifteen small bags of food and toys and such that we juggle and stuff into other bags. Of the fifteen, we usually end up leaving one behind at some point.

Nicole: Accidentally or on purpose?

Ester: ACCIDENTALLY NICOLE. It’s an ongoing frustration and one of the many reasons I hate traveling.

Nicole: That is terrible! I like it the other way, where you can leave stuff behind as you use it up. The backpacking across wherever method.

Ester: So what does the budgetest of all budget airlines give you and what does it withhold?

Nicole: Well, there’s no Wi-Fi, and I had to pay $25 to check my bag.

Ester: Do they charge for water, though? After flying Ryan Air, I have new standards for terrible.

Nicole: They were very insistent that we bring our credit cards so we could buy things on the plane.

Ester: Ah, so they might charge you for water!

Nicole: Yeah, but I always pay for a water bottle. I have spilled those tiny cups too often.

Ester: I just bought a new one at Target and plan to refill it once I cross to the promised land on the other side of Security. Since we’re flying at night both ways, I won’t get to take advantage of JetBlue’s still-free Diet Coke, which makes me sad.

Nicole: I am so glad that I am not flying at night. Or in the mornings. It now takes just under two hours to get to the airport via public transportation.

Ester: How long is your flight?

Nicole: My flight is four hours long, so I can totally write four short pieces during it, right? That is the plan.

Ester: Oh wow. Ambitious! My plan is to keep at least a slippery hold on my sanity.

Nicole: I also prepped all of my research beforehand, once I realized I wouldn’t have internet.

Ester: Very smart.

Nicole: But I did not think to bring a refillable water bottle.

Ester: That’s okay, you probably spreadsheeted out all your outfits in advance. You still win on preparedness points.

Nicole: I did make my outfit grid before I left, LOL. But honestly, I’m not sure I’d want to drink drinking fountain water. The facilities were so gross this time around that when I accidentally dropped a bobby pin, I left it there.

Ester: Oh no! Lately I’ve noticed more and more water fountains that have the bottle-friendly vertical refill option, which pleases me greatly.

Nicole: Ester there is a guy in this boarding line wearing slippers. Not shoes. Should I be appalled??? I mean, I shouldn’t judge, but secretly?

Ester: Secretly judge! It’s okay. We have so few joys in our short lives. When I find myself secretly judging someone, and then I feel guilty about it, I make myself find something to admire about the person. Are they fuzzy? Shaped like animals?

Nicole: No, they’re flannel. They might be those new kinds of slipper shoes that Facebook keeps trying to sell me. It’s like Facebook knows I work from home.

Ester: Well, it’s not exactly a secret… At least you’re not draped in a Slanket in the security line, though. Working on your Night Cheese.

Nicole: I am wearing a crisp-ish Oxford in that blue stripe material because I CARE. Although mostly that is because I am on this trip for business, and I’m going to be interviewing people tomorrow, so if they see me today… Do you dress up or down for planes? Or is it just whatever you’re wearing that day?

Ester: I dress warmly for planes. I’ve done that ever since the horrific nighttime American Airlines flight I took once where they pumped the AC until it was about 55 degrees in there and then told passengers we were free to pay for blankets.

Nicole: Planes are the worst. I mean, airlines are the worst. Planes are scientific miracles.

Ester: Airlines are the worst. Planes + airlines + people are the worst.

Nicole: With that in mind, I’ll log off and prepare for four Wi-Fi free hours!

Ester: OK! Travel safely!

Nicole: I hope all of our flights run smoothly and all of our travels are safe.

Ester: Maybe we’ll cross briefly in the skies.

Photo credit: thejaan

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