How to Get Your Very Own Golden Globes Style

Let’s say you didn’t actually watch the Golden Globes last night, but you did follow along to all the red carpet screenshots everyone was posting on Twitter. (You also know about the Cosby joke and the Clooney joke. Well played.)

Now you want a bit of Golden Globes fashion for your very own.

First up: Amy Poehler’s purple maxi dress. According to inStyle, this is from “Stella McCartney’s autumn 2015 collection.”

You decide to dump the words “purple maxi dress” into Ann Taylor Loft and see what comes out.

For $79.50, you can get a Loft Beach Crossover Maxi Dress that doesn’t look anything like Stella McCartney’s autumn 2015 collection but is purple, goes all the way to the ground, and has a plunging v-shaped neckline.

Good enough.

It’s polite to blur out your date’s face when you’re posting Prom pics to The Billfold. Also, that dress totally looks like Tina Fey’s.

Tina Fey’s black and white dress, which inStyle dubs a “jewel-encrusted black and white Antonio Berardi number,” reminds you a lot of the dress you wore to Prom in high school. You wish you had kept that dress, because you didn’t realize then that the white bodice+black skirt combination would never go out of style. (Plus, it had a lace-up back, so you could probably adjust it to still fit you.)

Admittedly, Tina’s dress has a few more sparklys on it than yours did — are they actual jewels, or just rhinestones? — so it’s time to turn to Amazon’s “seriously, we sell everything” listings and see what you can find.

Amazon lists a gorgeous black and white dress with plenty of sparkles on it: the Meier Women’s Rhinestone A Line Formal Chiffon Prom Dress. Tina’s dress is a bit more of a pencil skirt than an A-line skirt, but you’ll take what you can get, and you can take this dress for only $108. (The item description warns buyers that they should avoid buying counterfeit dresses and that they need to check that the seller is truly Meier before hitting “purchase.” Caveat emptor. Also, Meier needs a better copywriter.)

But this is really all a warm-up exercise for the dress you really want: Amy Poehler’s midnight-blue gown with the butterfly on the front, because you are a 33-year-old woman who loves incorporating cute animals into her wardrobe.

InStyle tells you that this is “a custom Stella McCartney navy sleeveless one accented with embroidered appliqués on the bodice,” and you wonder why you called it midnight blue and inStyle called it navy blue, and you’re guessing that of the two of you, inStyle is the one who is correct.

First, you go direct to the source: Stella McCartney’s website. You’re pretty sure that Stella McCartney won’t immediately sell a dress she assumedly designed for Amy Poehler as a ready-to-wear catalog item for the general public, but the very first image on her website is of a child wearing a fake moustache with the words “ride free” temporary-tattooed on the knuckles, so anything goes, right?

Well, you do not find the dress with the butterfly on the front. You do find a dress in a similar style with a heart on the front. The Green Carpet Brigitte Dress costs $7,595.

And then you type “formal dress butterfly bodice” into Google.

There are plenty of dresses with butterflies on the front, or with sparkles in a vague butterfly shape on the front, and maybe the closest one to the Stella McCartney dress is this Silky Chiffon Gown by Alyse, which you can buy for $338. However, it is as much like Amy Poehler’s dress as a screw-top bottle of Smirnoff Ice is like a cocktail made with Hendricks gin. (Or, you know, an even better gin. Your tastes haven’t yet expanded beyond Hendricks.)

So you go back to Ann Taylor Loft, the store that has already collected so much of your money, and find the Loft Beach Botanic Sleeveless Maxi Dress, which doesn’t look like a butterfly bodice dress at all but has the advantage of being 1) blue and 2) something you would wear. It costs $89.50.

You can probably dig up a coupon.

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