If You Have to Pee, Pee in a Baby Store

I have been sitting on this for months and waiting for the right opportunity to share it. I’m not sure what I had in mind, though. Terry Gross interviewing me about my bathroom habits?

Okay here it is. This is, I feel like the most important thing revealed to me about humanity when I had a child: every baby store I have ever been inside of has a beautiful, luxurious, publicly accessible bathroom in it, and a salesperson beaming and excited to show it to you.

Land of Nod? Bathroom. Giggle? Bathroom! In the Williamsburg neighborhood in Brooklyn, Caribou Baby has an excellent bathroom. Jake’s Mini Mart, which is on North 9th St. between Bedford and Driggs, has a great bathroom right next to the register. Fancy soaps! Lotions! It’s absurd.

If being out and about in a city while having a bladder has been as much of a problem for you as it has for me, keep an eye out for crazy baby stores. After you pee you can sit in their overpriced gliders and pretend to discuss something baby-related while you enjoy the air conditioning. I did this today, which is where I took the picture of these delightful chickens, $45 apiece.

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