Who Benefits When Mike Dang Dies? Chatting About Life Insurance

Ester: Mike, do you have a will?

Meaghan: Leave all your ad impressions to me and Ester.

Ester: Or to that random NJ banker con artist!

Mike: Ha, well my mom gets more than $1 million from my life insurance policies.

Ester: Whoa! Your life is worth a lot.

Mike: What is your policy worth, Ester?

Ester: You think I have life insurance??

Mike: Well! It makes more sense for you to have one instead of me since you have a child.

Ester: Actually maybe I do? I have no idea. I might have gotten it through my job at one point and it was one of those things where companies sent me envelopes that I didn’t open. That happened for a while.

Mike: Hah, and I only pay about $35 a month for mine.

Ester: Ben has insurance, or did have it, through his job.

Mike: Oh, nice.

Meaghan: We didn’t get it.

Mike: Why not?

Meaghan: I dunno, we debated when I got pregnant, and I’m still not sure. But the fact that I/we have that chunk of savings from the stock options already was part of it. And that neither of us are really dependent on the other for income right now.

Mike: I think I’ve told you guys this story, but my mom was convinced I was going to die when I was 18, and she wanted to make sure there was money to take care of funeral arrangements or whatever, so I have had it since then.

Meaghan: Wow.

Ester: Um.

Mike: And with term insurance, it often increases as you move into it.

Ester: This chat can be called “Who Benefits if Mike Dies?”

Meaghan: So term insurance premiums increase as you age, right? Like if you “get in early” are they lower, but if you get it when you’re 40, is the premium higher?

Mike: Yes. When I started I paid about $15, and not it’s closer to $40 a month.

Meaghan: Interesting! See we didn’t get it because we don’t feel like we need it now, but if we decide later…

Mike: The older you start, the more it costs because as you age you are … more likely to die?

Meaghan: This stuff is really dark.

Ester: Please insert a screencap of THE SEVENTH SEAL here:

Mike: I think I started at $300,000 in coverage.

Ester: Did your mom set it up with her / your brothers as the beneficiary?

Mike: Hah, no, I set it up. I was 18! An adult.

Meaghan: Did someone like, come to your home and give you a check-up? Check your blood pressure?

Mike: I saw my regular doctor. Just that one time, like, I never had to give them an update, like, “Oh, FYI: I started smoking at weddings. But weddings only!”

Ester: Ha! You can’t say that on the record.

Mike: Can’t wait to get my plan terminated after they see this.


Ester: There was just a New Yorker article about a dude who kept taking out insurance policies on people in Chicago and then killing them and because the Chicago police are so dumb and awful he kept getting away with the murders which means the insurance company kept having to pay.

Mike: That is insane.

Ester: Yeah. AllState was like, “You are not in good hands.” “Our good hands are tied.” And other sad jokes as well. Anyway eventually he went to prison for something.

Meaghan: Murder? lol

Mike: Lol, that would make sense?

Murder is never funny, though incompetence kind of is maybe? In a sad way? The New Yorker piece in question can be found here.