Things In My Life That Are Broken (That I Am Not Paying Money To Fix)

My Clever Coffee Dripper, which cleverly leaks coffee unless it is handled in precisely the right way

• My shower head, which is currently tied to the shower curtain rod with a lanyard I got at Norwescon; without the tension provided by the lanyard, it swivels around and sprays water in all the wrong places

• An adaptor that turns one outlet into six outlets; only four of the adapted outlets provide power

• The grill thing at the bottom of my refrigerator; it falls off regularly but as far as I can tell doesn’t affect refrigeration

• The hot water faucet in my bathroom sink, which makes a loud honking noise if it is turned too slowly (my upstairs neighbor’s faucet makes the same honk, and I hear it every morning)

• My toilet seat, cracked on one side

• A sundress with a ripped seam that is currently held together with transgender-support stickers (when it ripped, I was at PAX, aka Penny Arcade Expo, and had no access to needle and thread but DID have access to these stickers, which I was distributing as a response to transphobic comments made by one of PAX’s founders — I’ve worn the dress since, of course, with the stickers still attached)

• My ukulele, cracked across the back but held together with JoCo Cruise Crazy stickers (still plays just fine)

• One leg of a music box shaped like a piano, held together with tape

• A pearl and sapphire necklace bought in Hyderabad in 2006, that I am keeping in a jewelry box under the assumption that I will have it restrung someday, because after all it is pearls and sapphires

• A jade necklace bought in Chiang Mai in 2011, that I’m still technically wearing even though the lavalier pendant portion of the necklace has fallen off (yes, I wear broken stuff all the time, ask me about my shoes that have holes in them)

• Shoes that have holes in them