True Fans of True Detective

by Mike Dang and Logan Sachon

Logan: Mike, on a scale of 1 to 10, how obsessed are you with TRUE DETECTIVE?

Mike: Hah, well I started watching it because of you — literally, you gave me access to your HBO GO account — and you’ve brought it up so much around these parts, that I wanted to get an understanding of why you were so obsessed with it. It’s a really good show! The camera work is really good! The storyline is really compelling!

Logan: Mike that wasn’t a rating. WHAT IS YOUR RATING?

Mike: Hah, okay, hmm. Eight? Nine. I’d say nine. I’d hate to say 10, only because when something is a 10, it really does mean I’m putting off all the work I should be doing and watching episodes of the show over and over again, and then reading recaps somewhere. And also maybe investigating things on the side. Um, I am sure you are a 10.

Logan: I am for sure a 10. For sure. I mean, there are people more obsessed than me, but only because they have a larger capacity for obsession. Like, I’m not making my own gifs or slowing down audio files or marking up screenshots. I mean, I would if I could, I just don’t have the technical skills. HA. But I’m watching some gifs. Watching the hell out of some gifs. Spent some long hours on a sub-reddit. I’m extremely excited by your very high number!!!!!! I’m so glad you like it. But wait. I need to know — have you had a 10? What’s been a 10? What have you investigated ON YOUR OWN???? ?

Mike: Okay, I am a crazy person. Thanks for making me reveal to everyone that I am a crazy person. Do you remember Zodiac? The movie with Jake Gyllenhaal based on the book of the same name by Robert Grayson? So I watched that movie and thought it was a good movie. And then I spent … a significant amount of time going into newspaper archives — ProQuest, LexisNexis — looking up the original articles written about the Zodiac killer and some of the victims. And then I started building a timeline … anyway. THAT IS AN EXAMPLE.

Logan: Hhahahah MIKE! That is amazing. But also: THAT IS JOURNALISM!!! Hahaha those murders ACTUALLY HAPPENED, you were reading THE NEWS. Amazing. I love you. You’re the best. You learned something about a real thing.

Mike: Okay, so, yes, that was based on a real thing that happened. But! So if True Detective became a 10 for me, that would mean, for example, me running out to find a copy of The King in Yellow, the collection of short stories by Robert Chambers that the writers of True Detective refer to sometimes, and that superfans have been closely making connections to. I am aware of that only because I typed in “Yellow King” into Google to see if that was a real thing, and then I learned that yes, there is that connection. But I am not going to buy that book. Are you going to buy that book!? I mean, you are a 10.

Logan: No, it’s not within my capacity for obsession to buy the book. Hahah. I would never buy the book. I haven’t even read the long excerpts, just bits and pieces. I don’t think it’s necessary. In my opinion. Okay so Mike: How much would you pay to watch the next three episodes of True Detective if all HBO GO passwords stopped working and they were only available to purchase. I would pay literally any amount of money that I could access.

Mike: Hah, well I would have bought the episodes on iTunes or whatever if they were available, but they are. Hmmm. I would pay maybe $10 each for the rest of the episodes. There are three left?

Logan: Yes. 8 total. $10 each. I mean, that is a good amount. I’m impressed. I think you valued it in a smart way. I think the market could accommodate that price point. I wouldn’t even hate them at all if they did that. $10 is nothing! We’re talking about a man’s life here!!!!! My life. I’m the man.

Mike: Hah. I mean $30 for three more episodes is not nothing! Honestly I would be too angry to care about what happened next if they were like, okay to finish the rest of the show, each episode is $20. Like, can you imagine how ,ad people would be? Do you think people would not be angry?

Logan: I think some people would be angry but I think the TRUE fans would be like you know what, you’re right. It’s that good. And take my firstborn while you’re at it.