Daddy Bought a Gift for You

I bought this for you weeks ago. Santa Claus got most of your presents, but this one is special from your mom and me. It was very hard keeping it a secret from you. Partly because you’re so curious, always getting into everything, and partly because after Daddy bought this present it was the top story on the local news for a week.

At McSweeney’s, Jeremiah Tucker has a dark humor piece titled “Merry Christmas, Son. I Trampled A Man To Death To Buy You This Leappad Ultra Tablet,” which spoke to me because I’ve been inundated in the last few days with PR emails about “Super Saturday Sales” and one-time deals, and I just can’t wait until this shopping season is over.

Photo: Darmesh Patel

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