An American Girl Doll That Doesn’t Exist Yet, and Other Christmas List Wishes From a Child

At Deadspin, Drew Magary talks about the items on his daughter’s Christmas wish list and it’s very, very funny, mostly because his daughter asks for things like, an American Girl Doll that won’t be on the market until next year:

“New American Girl Doll of the Year 2014.” The heartless corporate executives at American Girl roll out a new “doll of the year” doll every year, complete with its own book and shitty DVD movie (the last one starred Nia Vardalos and Ian Ziering) and a meticulously crafted backstory that reads like an account planner’s wet dream (“She’s a spirited girl who draws on her passions to inspire action!”). And the kicker is that these dolls are always sold for a limited time (the 2013 doll of the year, Saige, is also on my kid’s wish list and costs $110 if you can find her), so that mothers around the world step on each other’s gullets just to secure one for their brainwashed offspring. Anyway, American Girl has not named its stupid doll of the year for NEXT year yet, but my kid wants it anyway. I assume the doll’s name will be Kayden. Here is my kid asking for a present from the future, and that represents one of the more reasonable items. I love you, but you cannot have this, sweetheart.

She also asks for “A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime” which, wow, kid’s got quite the imagination!

At Thanksgiving dinner, all the ladies bonded over having American Girl dolls, which made it seem like American Girl dolls are as prevalent as Barbie dolls, except maybe not because they cost more than $100. Sounds like a pricey Christmas gift!

Also, I never wrote Christmas lists as a kid — my parents just bought me whatever they felt was affordable and appropriate, and I just sort of went with it (but was still terribly excited about opening gifts).

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