Souvenirs I Did Not Buy in Italy

by Maria Aspan

I could easily describe my excellent Italian vacation in terms of the cathedrals visited, cliffs climbed, wine guzzled or carbs consumed, but wouldn’t you rather hear about the horsemeat and the bizarre sexual harassment? From strange foods and scary fruit vendors to Vatican pin-up photos, here are the souvenirs I did not buy in Italy.

My very own Pin-up Priests of the Vatican calendar (oh, Father February!) I almost regret not spending the 6 euros for this. Fortunately, it’s available online:

Priests’ vestments or nuns’ wimples from any of the Catholic supply shops in Rome:

Horsemeat carpaccio, or horsemeat sausage, or any of the other products in the special “Equino” supermarket case in Milan:

A “Krappuccino” from a train station coffeeshop, which might want to rethink its marketing to Anglophone tourists:

Any entries in Sophie Kinsella’s nightmare-inducing Shopaholic series, even from the charming book vending machines in Milan’s subways:

British Royal Baby butter cookies, or mugs, or postcards. Heathrow airport is a scary place to spend a four-hour layover:

Trying-too-hard suggestive moisturizer. (Heathrow strikes again.)

Fruit from the vendor threatening to grope me and all the other female tourists in Rome:

Perhaps we can blame the sexual harassment on all of the red pepper flakes in Italian cuisine?

Maria Aspan writes about banks and other things.


Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.

Comments