I Am Ready to Get My Prince Charming On

TO: Logan
FROM: Brennan
SUBJECT: There’s this girl

Logster. Logie. Logarama. Have you seen Logan’s Run? Is your favorite airport … Logan Airport? JK, just joshing with you. 1 Love. Quick question for you. This girl I’m seeing (1 month) shops all the time and it’s kind of ridiculous. I don’t want to call her out on it, but like, what gives? How can I get her to shop less? Can I get her to shop less? Should I get her to shop less? The reason I’m wanting her to shop less is not because she doesn’t have good style, she’s got great style, it is that she is always out of money and it seems pretty obvious why (the shopping). “Can’t go out ’til payday, I don’t know how this happens.” (The shopping.) I pay for us to hang out, which I’m happy to do! Happy to do. But like, maybe leave your Express bag at home when you’re going to tell me you’re broke. (I don’t think she actually shops at Express.) (But she might actually I don’t know.) Also she is using credit cards. She has like … five of them. Maybe more. She jokes that they’re all maxed out. (“HAHA.”) Don’t want to mansplain interest rates to her, but do want to help her. And you know, understand why she is spending her money on clothes when she obviously doesn’t have money to spend on clothes. Whatcha got for me.

FROM: Logan
TO: Brennan
SUBJECT: RE: there’s this girl

Brennan. Hi. Thanks for writing. Good instinct. Glad I can help you on this. Don’t say anything to your girlfriend of 1 month about her money. That is my advice. I agree that you should not be mansplaining interest rates to this woman in your life. Please don’t do that. I’m sure she knows what’s up with credit. She also knows what’s up with the shopping. When I was (“was”) a shopping fiend, I knew I couldn’t afford it. I did not need anyone to tell me I couldn’t afford it. When (very lovely) people tried to tell me I couldn’t afford it, I said, “It’s okay, it’ll all work out!!!!” and then bought everyone a round of drinks. And I was right. Not about the drinks, but about it working out. It’s still working out. I’m working it out. Slowly.

She’s shopping because she’s unhappy and shopping makes her feel better. Don’t make her explain that to you. Instead, if you’re worried about her and her money, be her friend. Or her boyfriend. Whatever you are. Be a nice guy. (But not a “nice guy.”) Try to make her more happy. Talk to her about her life. You know, be a guy, interested in a girl (and not her credit score).

That is my advice, based on my experience. Other people might have better advice. Maybe she is looking for a prince to save her and maybe you can save her. I don’t know. But I don’t think so.

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