Answers to Stopping Your Cat From Ruining Your Life

I’ve been watching episodes of My Cat From Hell on Netflix (you could also probably find episodes on YouTube), because, yes cats are adorable, and also I may get a cat some day and I wanted to have a sense of what to do in case I ever got a cat from hell.

The scenarios tend to follow a variation on the same storyline: The cat destroys everything, or pees all over everything, and the owners spend a lot of money replacing things or decide they are going to live with plastic covering their furniture. The cats attack the owners or visitors who come over so no one ever visits. The cat attacks other animals in the house. The cats keep their owners up all night and ruin relationships. The cats don’t know how to act like cats.

Jackson Galaxy, the host and cat behaviorist, after meeting the owners and cats, tends to give the following answers:

• Spay or neutering your cat fixes a lot of behavioral issues. Your cats may be peeing on all your clothes and in your bed and all over your house because they are feeling crazy and want to mate.

• Play with your cat. Get one of those feather-bird toys that you swing on a stick — cats seem to love those. Tire them out, and then when they are tired, feed them. Catch, kill, feed, groom, and sleep is what cats like to do every day.

• Cats aren’t dogs, so don’t play and pet them like they are dogs. They will bite you if you do.

• If you work from home and your cat sits on top of your hands and keyboard, you can train them to sit somewhere else using treats.

• Buy your cat a cat tree. Buy your cat a thing to scratch that isn’t your nice furniture. The best way to keep them from destroying your space is to give them their own space.

• If your cat doesn’t know how to act like a cat, introduce your cat to some kittens.

• A lot of times, problems are fixed simply by taking the cat to the vet because it turns out the cat is blind, or has arthritis or some other thing that can be fixed with the help of some medication.

Despite seeing these answers come up time and again, I can’t help but continue watching the show. Because: Cats! Who wants to invite me over to play with their cat?

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