My Last Hundred Bucks: Drug Store Spending Doesn’t Count Basically
by Ryan OConnell
Where’d your last hundo go, Ryan O’Connell?
$13.39: Degree Clinical Sport Deodorant. It’s embarrassing to admit this but I spent a decade of my life smelling like a legit homeless person because I sweat too much. It got so bad that at one point I even considered getting Botox injected into my armpits. Fortunately, though, I discovered prescription-strength deodorant, which solved all my odor problems. The only downside to using this deodorant is that it’s so chemical-y and strong that I’m pretty sure I’m giving myself cancer. But whatever — at least I smell nice!
$3.75: Crest toothpaste. I should really start using the organic kind that’s just made out of mint leaves or whatever, but no.
$8.99: Disposable camera. I don’t own a digital camera because I want “to save money” but the amount I’ve spent on disposables throughout the years probably trumps the cost of any decent camera I could buy.
$6.49: Brilliant Brunette shampoo. (It should be noted that all my purchases thus far have been made at a Walgreens AKA the one place where I can spend a hundred dollars in five minutes and not feel totally sick about it.)
$15.95: Crazy Salad and Scribble Scribble by Nora Ephron.
$24.00: Lunch for one at The Smith. I know it seems like a lot of money but it’s the lattes that get you. Never order a latte at a restaurant. I once ordered one at The Mercer Kitchen, only to discover that it was a whopping $7.50. My pasta dish, on the other hand, was only $11.00. When I told the waiter about the hilarious irony of having your meal only cast $3.50 more than your coffee, he rolled his eyes at me and said, “It’s Soho.”
$13.00: A bottle of wine. I recently graduated to the $9 to $13 price range and I feel really good about it.
$14.00: Drunk nachos, a taco, plus tip.