My Last Hundred Bucks: The Swifts Were Great Though, Top Notch Swift Performance

by William Foster

Where’d your last hundred bucks go, William Foster?

$80, City of Portland (Parking Ticket). I was going to watch the swifts at the Chapman School, and it was busy and crowded and I parked in a no-parking spot … and I got a ticket. It’s like the ’90s dot-com boom in San Francisco when IPO-rich assholes would just park their 911s on the sidewalk directly in front of wherever they were going. I’m that way now. I am above the law, no question, and I have cash billowing out of my pockets. (That is not true; I thought I was risking maybe $25, $40 at most.)

$20 (approx.), Beaverton New Seasons Market. Ingredients for a curried peanut soup and the sweetest, bluest Frostie on the shelf.

William Foster lives in Portland, Ore. The swifts haved moved on.

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