William Goes Shopping for a Cat

It’s important to know exactly what you want before making any major purchase.

To: Logan
From: William
Subject: Stevie B

I’m going to the shelter to check out this cat and play a little b-ball with him. I want to see if he can dunk, or at least aspires to.

I could be ok with a cat who can’t do a 360° tomahawk if he’s at least training to get to that level. It would be fun to watch him practice and elevate his game, and if I could help a cat take his shit to the next level, you know, that would feel good. I’d teach him the fundamentals of roundball: two-handed bounce pass, layups, dribbling with both paws, free throws. Zone defense. Cat-to-cat defense. It would be like Hoosiers except with just Dennis Hopper and no Gene Hackman, i.e. a total fiasco.

Best, William

Support The Billfold

The Billfold continues to exist thanks to support from our readers. Help us continue to do our work by making a monthly pledge on Patreon or a one-time-only contribution through PayPal.